Spring Flowers

DELHI SINCE 2012 - 2019

A MEANINGLESS LIFE IN INDIA

A MEANINGLESS LIFE IN INDIA

       

Indians used me since childhood since I was born here, I never wished any ill for anyone, not even an Indian, but over the years I realised that those Indians were wishing ill and bad things for me and that they were not my own people, I imagined myself to be growing up among my own people and was made to consume their Indian film and television and Indian education, but I realised despite my struggle since childhood they never considered me their own. They were wishing me ill, giving me hateful and jealous taunts, they didn't want me to live and prosper among them. 

An Internal remote control technology system had access to my bare face,brain,body,vagina since my childhood, but I was never told about it, the army school that started using and exhausting me in their extraneous extra curricular activities, never really bothered to train or groom my face,brain,body according to their military standards, I only managed to travel a little during the early years of my childhood along with my parents and as a family and after that it was years of being forced to live indoors in a civil government area in Delhi. 

I still never spoke ill against anyone, not even an Indian. I had no other people of my own, other than family members and thought they were also our people.

Over the years, I realised, that Indians had plotted to abuse my life in every way, so that i was available as a face,brain,body to abused by them and over the years wherever i struggled I only realised they were not making me part of their happy, flourishing Indian systems. At every stage, they tried to destroy whatever I succeeded in, internally they were abusing my face,brain,body and every year of struggle they tried new ways to cut,destroy wherever i struggled, but for their own children they arranged all opportunities and gave them lives and careers.

My face, since my childhood through a technology that can remotely access the face,brain,body and do whatever they want with it,  they forced in their own Indian faces on my own face and never told me what they were doing to me, all my childhood was in misery, eventually they my skin through adulterated chemicals in adulterated milk and salt. spoiling my face and skin, will not 'beautify' their own Indian faces which they spend crores of money on fake film,television,make-up,studios,lighting etc on, but appreciating my own kashmiri face and skin among their own people would have made them beautiful, which they will never be now, they will remain ugly and hideous in my memory forever.

My human body which was being accessed remotely through an advanced technology system which can remotely access the brain,face,body and do whatever they want with it, 'played' with me, watching me slide my vagina onto wood pieces, wooden bedsides, wooden chairs and metal railings but never came to me to heal or stop or direct me. They must have watched me bare since childhood without bothering what happens to my own face,brain,body,vagina which they had access to and were 'playing with'.
Even if I wasn't brought up an item dancer prostitute with freely moving arms,legs and light waist, I still had a face,breasts and vagina to be played with.

Although the Indian army school was exploiting my childhood through extraneous on-stage parts where i was meant to show up in old hand-me down clothes of my own relatives or just show up every day for extraneous activities and on strange presence despite academic struggle along side which they possibly wanted to destroy, India never gave me any stage parts or stage experiences and nothing worth remembering. Their stage directors of bombay and delhi only exploited me on stage with humiliating parts with no direction to life and gave no memory worth remembering. 
Since I was not given any camera access by my family and I still do not own or have access to any photo camera other than the phone, I do not have my own memories made by myself of a rotten filth Indian childhood either. I do not consume Indian direction any more.

I don't want any Indian army slut to use or represent me in any way, because I was never given their resources, travels or lifestyles or any military training. I was kept mostly in a civil area caged indoors and used in the Indian army school and their extraneous excess activities to use my time while I was caged in misery in isolation with a remote technology system accessing and abusing and forcing itself onto my face,skin,brain.breath.body for years together as I always struggled alone on the streets and public transport of Delhi and then in Bombay, all alone, abandoned and isolated as always still continuing a lonely academic struggle started since childhood.

I struggled to be a part of broadcasting, I struggled with radio speech training along with studying science. Indians eventually never made me part of their own radio broadcasting or television broadcasting resources or lifestyles. Whatever 'radio' experience I got since age 15 was never professionalised despite effort and struggle and time spent and like everything else I struggled for was labelled 'amateur' and hobbified into a hobby scam my life was directed towards. I was neither shown into their Indian commercial radio business where they sell junk and filth and earn money, nor was I ever shown their television business, of entertainment of journalism, where they sell lies and commercial businesses. For their own Indian children of all colours, shapes, sizes they opened all professional career doors in radio and television, entertainment and journalism and gave them education,technical training, salaries,travel, careers.
They never showed me any of their television or news journalism commercial business studios and erected their own Indian males and females, Indian sons and daughters into overpaid television and news journalism business jobs.

I do not consume any Indian radio or television any more.

My family had made me consume old Indian films since childhood and that cost me a lot of time in my childhood and even though I struggled to be one with Indians in their film, they directed to keep me caged within my own family with the lowest income and never considered me a part of their own selves. I forced my self into their film school where they didn't want me and consumed old films from other parts of the world and began writing. Although they did lead me to a low income desk job, they never made me part of any credited work.
India's system is designed to copy, so while they  me from all work credit, they copied and stole everything I struggled to write alone,struggling alone in half public rooms and gave it their own Indian names and furthered their own businesses and media fame and travel.

Although I struggled on the streets of Bombay, in half rooms, in public transport systems on roads,buses,trains and eventually led into scheduled caste servant quarter apartments, they gave me no train or flight ticket to anywhere and showed me no part of India other than Pune, Bombay. 
Although Indian 'film directors' showed off how they were paid monies to make film,after film and how they ran their businesses and frequent travel, Indians did not give me any technical training or access to any of their resources or cameras and obviously never directed to make me into a film director either.

They kept flying their own Indian daughters and sons on frequent, multiple foreign flights to foreign film festivals and film shoot holiday trips and gave me no direction or flight or travel to anywhere. The same set of paid Indian nangi kaali bandariyas (transgender monkeys of India) were flown year after year by India in western hand me down baby frocks and nangi saris to Foreign Film festivals in France and other paid holiday chutti parties by Indian fart holes.

Although Bombay city runs 24.7 powered entertainment shows, they never invited me or showed me any of their lives or shows. 

All along the remote technology remote control system was still watching me alone on the streets of Bombay and my own face and playing with my brain and body. I had no other life to live.

Only because of the world wide web, I could reconnect with places and people, Although I was reading books and educating my own self, with access to google search and social media, I could keep educating my own curiosity and connect with people in Kashmir.

In India my face,brain,body were all made part of mock shows to be wasted,destroyed,humiliated and no beginning ever given to my professional or personal life, every part of my face and human body has been severely humiliated by Indians and sold internally as mock shows.

Indians never gave me any financial independence either, with the lowest paying ,5,000-20,000 jobs in places where otherwise lakhs and crores of money are thrust in and forced me to be dependent on my own parents.

Since 2012, the remote technology system began openly accessing my face,brain,body from within the room in Delhi where I came to live with my parents, They wanted it to be the worst experience for me, where they wanted to stop me further from becoming a part of their professional commercial Indian public systems and sold mock shows out of my face,brain,body, fed me more adulteration, did whatever they wanted to my face,brain,body through their remote access technology and continued to watch me alone on the streets of Delhi never coming to give me any professional life to live, or any other life here,, while stealing every part of my struggle in their Indian systems and giving work after work, career after career to their own Indian daughters of Indian hindu parents. They were forcing in any 'breath' they wanted into me to destroy my own speech and thought process instead of channelising me or allowing me to write anything further. 

For 7 years within this room I am typing from, they wasted my life further to me from any professional public space career or any other life to live. Despite my face and skin raped and body violated they continued to abuse my face,brain,body,breath for 7 years caged in a bed within this room and occassionally were forced to return my own face back to me. They could have given me any life,career,travel at least for these 7 years, they could have finally made me into something, made me into a working, paid ,creative professional based on my struggle or set me free to live any personal life experiences which still dont even exist in my life. But they turned out to be enemies as well who wanted to waste,exploit,destroy me further.

An infinite number of people are showing themselves as their own selves on social media platforms and online channels, other than paid prostitution work in film,television,advertising where they show their own face, but only my own face has been selectively massacred since childhood with a remote technology system penetrating my face since childhood and forcing some other faces on my face by force and never stopping for decades, despite destroying my face and skin altogether through adulterated chemicals in milk and salt. I have been given no rights to my own face, nor any life or work.
They have considered me and used me as a dead piece of human flesh since childhood and consider me to have no feeling of my own, they did whatever they wanted to do to me and raped my face since childhood, forced in faces of adults, adult women,adult relatives,fat brown obese indians, males,men,boys on my face since childhood while accessing all parts of my face,brain,body,vagina. While I studied and aspired and struggle they raped my face,brain,body and enjoyed accessing and using me. There is no acknowledgment in any public way what they have done to me since childhood.

Indians take the worst of their people and give them the best of the resources accessible to them but despite abusing me since childhood since my availability to them, they never made me part of their credited work or any of their technical resources.

Although the Indian school and college did try to use and exhaust me, what India really did was to waste my face,brain,body,struggle since childhood while accessing and using all of me as free resource. Childhood should be free and youth should be made of struggle which gets paid, instead India caged me since childhood and exploited me and never paid me anything as I just kept struggling year after year, while they were copying,wasting and destroying me and giving professional opportunities to their own Indian children.

India wasted me as a human resource available to them.

It isn't me who didn't want to be one with Indians, I was born and brought up here, I considered all people good. I lived here, I struggled with Indian faces forced on my face since childhood, I studied in their education system sacrificing my own pleasures despite being exploited by their school and college, I struggled within their public spaces, public half rooms and public transport, all alone, it is Indians who didn't want me among them, it is Indian's who got me caged back into the same family I am born in, it is Indians who willed to destroy my face,personality,speech,character in every way so that they could openly copy and steal every part of my struggle and use it as free source for their Indian daughters and Indian sons and even foreigners without ever giving me my own rights.

They have watched every year of my life wasted and destroyed, with no professional or personal beginning to my life, that's how they, copy and steal and that's how they earn crores of stolen money, never paying me anything, never making me a part of their lives in India.

It isn't just me whose lifetime of struggle since childhood with every part of my face,brain,body,effort,study, accessed,used,abused, has been unpaid,without any professional work credit, but the returns that my struggle is to give to my parents and my people haven't been given, so it isn't just me whose years of life have been wasted,destroyed and the earnings that were meant to reach me have been stolen. 

A meaningless academic struggle has been thrust upon me as a student in India while I was being used by the Indian army school for their extraneous activities and abused through remote technology of my own face,brain,body,breath. I have struggled to attend and succeed in every 'school' unit test, science in high school, medical entrance examinations, Indian law entrance examinations, journalism in Delhi university, CAT management entrance examinations, digital,new media,video study in one year in Melbourne arranged by Delhi University,  Film school study at the Film and TV institute of India and then consistent self study with NO break-in into the Indian career market other than low paying desk jobs while their system kept abusing my face especially and then destroyed my face and skin altogether through adulterated chemicals.

I do not consume Indians any more. Now despite a lifetime used up in India and a remote technology system that still tries to force in whatever they want into my brain, My senses are now free from consuming India, I do not have to consume any more Indian education, Indian television, Indian film, Indian news, Indian content, Indian music or Indian politics for which they wanted to use me as a consumer. 

It has been a meaningless life in India with my own face and skin destroyed by force and through remote access technology, my body violated and mocked, with no creative work, no work credit, no financial independence, no marriage, no childbirth or motherhood, with no travel journeys and work experience,with no progressive technical training  and with a remote technology system accessing and modifying my face,brain,body and thrusting their 'dreams' and breath into my brain with no direction whatsoever.

Whatever is good in me they wanted to strategically and openly destroy, from the external physical attributes of the face,skin,even hair,good speech, they wanted to mislead and destroy all of it, to a consistent academic struggle, never channelised to be creative or professional.

While they have watched me on their streets and struggle for a beginning to any work credit since childhood, they did not apply my face,brain,body which has been violated in struggle since childhood in any creative way or professional use, instead they kept watching me struggle within my own self and wanted me to implode within my own self.

Q and A - STILL A MEANINGLESS LIFE

IS YOUR LIFE STILL MEANINGLESS EVEN TODAY AT AGE 38?

YES. ITS BEEN 7 YEARS IN DELHI SINCE I HAVE BEEN LAID ON A BED AND CAGED IN A BEDROOM AND BATHROOM WHILE A VERY ADVANCED REMOTE TECHNOLOGY SYSTEM STILL ACCESSES MY BRAIN,BODY,FACE BARE AND NUDE AND USES ME IN WHATEVER THEY WANT TO WHILE I STILL STRUGGLE WITH MY OWN SELF WITHIN A ROOM AND OUTSIDE OF IT. I HAVE THE INTERNET, A PHONE AND SOME BOOKS FOR COMPANY AND NO OTHER BEGINNING TO ANY LIFE TO LIVE.

I AM TOLD I WAS REMOTELY ACCESSED LIKE THIS SINCE CHILDHOOD BUT NEVER MADE PART OF ANY PROFESSIONAL WORK DESPITE BEING INTERESTED IN A WORKING LIFE, SO THEY HAVE BEEN 'PLAYING' WITH MY FACE,BRAIN,BODY SINCE PRIMARY SCHOOL IN INDIA AND WATCHING ME NUDE AND BARE CAGED, CONSUMING AND STRUGGLING SINCE CHILDHOOD, WHEREAS I KEPT SHOWING UP ON A SCHOOL DESK STRUGGLING AND STUDYING WHILE MY PARENTS PAID SCHOOL FEES AND I GOT USED SINCE CHILDHOOD IN EXTRANEOUS FREE SHOW ON STAGE ACTIVITIES BY THE INDIAN ARMY PUBLIC SCHOOL NEVER BEING TOLD HOW MY FACE,BODY,BRAIN,FLESH WAS ACCESSED AND PLAYED WITH LIKE A REALITY SHOW 24.7. SO, I WAS CAGED AT HOMES IN DELHI WITH NO CAMERA OF MY OWN SINCE CHILDHOOD WITH SOMEBODY ELSES FACE FORCED ON MY FACE WITH HUGE,OBESE INDIAN FACES, ADULT FACES OF OLDER PEOPLE, FACES OF OUR RELATIVES AND MALE FACES FORCED ON MY FACE WITH MY FACE,BRAIN,BODY,FLESH ACCESSED SEEN,HEARD AND READ SINCE CHILDHOOD AS I SAT THROUGH UNIT TEST AFTER UNIT TEST, EXAMINATION AFTER EXAMINATION, ENTRANCE EXAMINATION AFTER EXAMINATION AND ON MY OWN ON THE STREETS OF INDIA STILL WITH NO DIRECTION GIVEN TO MY FACE,BODY OR LIMBS, DESPITE BEING AVAILABLE ON MY OWN WITHIN THE BROTHEL PROSS MAKING INDIAN ARMY PUBLIC SCHOOL OF NEW DELHI, AND ON MY OWN IN PUBLIC INDIAN RADIO AND THEATRE GROUPS OF DELHI. I WAS USED BY AVOIDED AND REJECTED FROM ANY BREAK IN THROUGH DELHI.

DO YOU FEEL THAT THE WAY THEY STARTED ACCESSING YOU NUDE AND BARE SINCE CHILDHOOD AND WHEN YOU STARTED DOING MORE TO YOUR OWN FLESH SINCE CHILDHOOD THEY GOT A SEXUALLY ACTIVE AND SEXUALLY READY FEMALE FLESH IN YOU TO WATCH NUDE AND BARE SINCE CHILDHOOD, CAGED IN A HOUSE???

I WAS KEPT MOSTLY CAGED IN A HOUSE, AND WAS BEING MADE INTO A CONSUMER OF EVERYTHING INDIAN, NOBODY GAVE FREEDOM TO MY LIMBS,TO MY OWN FACE AND THERE WAS NO FRESH AIR TO BREATHE. WHEN I WAS MADE TO LIP KISS MY MOTHER AND SLEPT NEXT TO HER BODY SINCE CHILDHOOD AND SPREAD MY LEGS ONTO A HORSE, THE SPACE BETWEEN MY LEGS WAS VERY SEXUALLY ACTIVE MAYBE SINCE THE AGE OF 4 and the AGE of 7. I WAS CONSUMING EVERYTHING ON INDIAN FILM AND TELEVISION, INCLUDING OLD RETRO CINEMA FROM 1950s, 1960s, 1970s WITH HEAPS AND HEAPS OF FOOD SERVED AND FORCED IN BY THE FAMILY WITH NO FRESH AIR TO BREATHE OR ADEQUATE MOVEMENT FOR MY LIMBS OR ANY SELF EXPRESSION. SO WHEN I STARTED SPREADING MY LEGS ON WOODEN FURNITURE PIECES, LIKE A CHALKBOARD,BED SIDE, AT AGE 7 AND A METAL RAILING SINCE AGE 10 IT BECAME A PART OF MY LIFE WITH NO HUMAN STOPPING MY FLESH ABUSED OR DIRECTING ME IN LIFE.

Q) IS IT HORSE RIDING THAT MADE YOU RIDE EVERYTHING YOU FOUND AROUND YOU?

ANS) I HAD BEEN ON TOP OF A HORSE ONLY ONCE IN MY LIFE. I WAS TOO YOUNG TO KNOW WHAT LEADS TO WHAT I WAS DOING AND OBVIOUSLY I WAS NEVER TOLD HOW I WAS BEING REMOTELY OPERATED AND CONTROLLED AND PLAYED WITH THROUGH REMOTE TECHNOLOGY. NOBODY EVER TRAINED ME TO GET ON TOP OF HORSES WHEN I NEEDED IT THE MOST, MY ARMS AND LEGS HAVE ALWAYS FELT WASTED AND UNUSED AND MY BODY CAGED. WHEN I WAS VERY LITTLE MY FAMILY GIFTED ME 'LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD" AND I LOVED READING THROUGH THAT AND THAT IS THE CLOSEST I WAS EVER KEPT TO ANYTHING CALLED 'RIDING'. SO, NO HORSES EXIST IN MY LIFE, EVEN IF I WOULD HAVE ENJOYED OR LEARNT FROM IT.

ONLY IN THESE YEARS IN DELHI, WHEN I TRAVELED TO GULMARG,KASHMIR, ALONE AGAIN, I GOT ON TO A HORSE AGAIN AND I GOT JUST A FEW HORSE RIDING LESSONS IN DELHI.

BUT NOBODY OTHER THAN THAT HAS EVER BOTHERED TO TRAIN ME IN ANYTHING. AND AT THIS AGE I FEEL, MY VAGINA THAT ALREADY HAS A TORMENTED MEMORY RATHER NOT BE SPREAD ONTO HORSES EVER AND LET OTHER PEOPLE SPREAD THEIR LEGS ON THEM INSTEAD. THERE MIGHT BE A LOT OF TRAINED RIDERS, BUT I HAVE BEEN THIS SORT OF A RIDER AND I HAVE GREAT LOVE FOR THE HORSE, THESE MEMORIES OF RIDING IN THESE UNEXPECTED YEARS CAGED IN DELHI AGAIN, HAVE BEEN PRECIOUS.

Q) WHAT ABOUT BOLLYWOOD MUSIC AND CHILDHOOD???

OF COURSE A LOT OF BOLLYWOOD MUSIC AND MUSIC AND DANCE EXISTED IN MY LIFE AND I LOVED ALL BOLLYWOOD MUSIC,DANCES AND MUJRAS BUT STILL WANTED TO STUDY AND LEARN ABOUT NEW SCIENCE AND MEDIA. ITS CRAZY HOW MUCH I LOVED BOLLYWOOD IN MY LONELY CHILDHOOD YEARS IN DELHI.

Q) WHAT ABOUT CONTENT FROM OTHER COUNTRIES?

WHILE I WAS MADE A CONSUMER SINCE BIRTH OF INDIAN TELEVISION AND RETRO INDIAN CINEMA,I WAS GETTING PULLED TOWARDS CONSUMING AMERICAN CONTENT AT THE AGE OF 6, BUT I WAS STRONGLY PULLED AWAY FROM BECOMING A CONSUMER OF AMERICA AND EUROPE AND BY THE AGE OF 18 I WAS ONLY A CONSUMER OF INDIAN CONTENT, INDIAN EDUCATION AND STALE INDIA. WHATEVER I COULD HAVE COMMUNICATED WITH EUROPE OR AMERICA REMAINED ONLY IN MY OWN HEAD AND IMAGINATION AND NOT ENCOURAGED. THERE WAS NO DREAM OF ANY POSSIBILITY OR ASPIRATION TO TRAVEL OUTSIDE OF INDIA.

Q) IF SUCH AN ADVANCED SYSTEM OF REMOTE ACCESS HAS WATCHED YOU NUDE AND BARE SINCE 1980s AND ALL THROUGH 1990s. WHY DID THEY NEVER STOP YOU OR HELP YOU FROM SPREADING YOUR LEGS ON WOOD PIECES AND METAL, DID THEY NOT CARE IF WOOD SPLINTERS ENTERED YOUR VAGINA SINCE 10?

ANS)  OBVIOUSLY AS A KID WHO WAS STILL DECIDING TO BE GOOD OR BAD, I DID THESE THINGS WHEN "NO ONE IS WATCHING LIKE SO MANY OTHER THINGS I LIKED TO DO", BUT SUCH AN ADVANCED SYSTEM OF TECHNOLOGY IS WATCHING ME ON THE INSIDE ALL THE TIME. AN ADVANCED, EDUCATED SYSTEM OF SCIENTIFIC INVENTION IS ABLE TO ACCESS AND PENETRATE MY FACE,BRAIN,BODY SINCE CHILDHOOD KEEPING ME CAGED IN A HOME FOR 20 YEARS. THEY TELL ME INTO MY SKULL, THEY CAN REMOTELY ACCESS THE FACE,BRAIN,BODY AND DO WHATEVER THEY WANT, GIVE ARTIFICIAL THIRST,HUNGER,MODIFY MY BODY, FORCE ANY FACE ON MY FACE BUT GIVE NO PROFESSIONAL BREAK IN. THESE COULDN'T BE PEOPLE WHO CARED FOR ME. DESPITE ACCESS TO TECHNOLOGY TO REMOTELY ACCESS A GIRLCHILD'S FACE,BRAIN,BODY AND WATCHING HER GROW UP NUDE AND BARE AND DON'T EVEN STOP HER FROM SPREADING HER LEGS PENETRATING HER VAGINA WITH WOOD AND METAL, ARE PEOPLE WHO WANTED THE WORST TO HAPPEN TO ME, THAT I SHOULD BE BAD AND DESTROYED IN EVERY WAY AND THAT THEY SIMPLY DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ME.
THE INDIAN ARMY PIMP BROTHEL INDIAN ARMY PUBLIC SCHOOL CLAIMED TO PUT ME ON AN ACTOR's STRUGGLE BUT DIDN'T EVEN DIRECT MY LIMBS IN ANY ACTIVE WAY. THEY JUST FOUND A REASON TO MY OWN FACE AND ACCESS MY BODY. THEY COULDN'T EVEN GIVE AN ACTOR TO ACT WITH ME, SO I AM HAPPY THAT THEIR INDIAN HINDU MALES DO NOT EXIST IN MY BRAIN AND LIFE AND WOODEN CHALKBOARD,WOODEN BEDSIDES, WOOD CHAIR,  METAL RAILINGS,PILLOWS, BLANKETS,FLOWERS AND A DOG HAVE BEEN THERE FOR ME. I AM THANKFUL TO WOOD PIECES AND METAL RAILING STAIRCASES FOR ADDING MEANING AND MEMORY TO MY YOUTH AND CHILDHOOD.





THEY HAD ACCESS TO MY FACE,BRAIN,BODY AND USED IT FOR THEIR OWN SELVES WITHOUT FEELING FOR ME, THEY FORCED HUGE,OBESE,INDIAN FACES ON MY FACE, SO THAT IN EVERYONE'S EYES AND MY OWN EYES,THEY FOOL ME TO FEEL THAT MY FACE IS OBESE,BROWN INDIAN RACE OF SOUTH INDIANS,BENGALIS. THEY CARED ABOUT THEIR OWN INDIAN CHILDREN USING ME BUT NEVER ABOUT ME. I WAS IN MISERY,CAGED IN A ROOM, STRUGGLING, IN TEARS,CRYING, EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE SINCE CHILDHOOD.
WHAT USE ARE SUCH ADVANCES OF TECHNOLOGY, SUCH GREAT EDUCATED SCIENTIFIC INVENTIONS WHICH DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT A GIRL CHILD AND HER VAGINA BECAUSE THEY ARE SO BUSY ACCESSING HER AS FREE NUDE,BARE HUMAN RESOURCE ON A REMOTE WATCH.

Q)DO YOU FEEL THE WAY THEY HAVE ACCESSED AND PLAYED WITH YOU SINCE CHILDHOOD WITHOUT LETTING YOU KNOW, IS HUMAN RIGHTS ABUSE?

Ans) TO CALL IT HUMAN RIGHTS ABUSE, THEY MUST FIRST CONSIDER ME BORN A HUMAN BEING, THEY NEVER CONSIDERED ME HUMAN, THEY ARE SHOWING OFF THEIR ADVANCES OF SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY AND FAME AND MONEY FOR THEIR OWN HINDUS AND HAVE NO CARE FOR MY OWN THOUGHT OR FEELING EVEN TILL THE AGE OF 38. I WAS BEING MADE INTO A CONSUMER OF INDIA WHO NEVER GETS PAID, WHO IS MADE TO STRUGGLE AND ASPIRE IN INDIA SO THAT I KEEP STRUGGLING AND WHATEVER I SUCCEED IN OR STRUGGLE FOR, THEY  ME FROM BREAKING INTO IT AND PLACE THEIR OWN CHILDREN IN THOSE OPPORTUNITIES. AND FOR THAT MY OWN FACE IS EVERY DAY TO SHOW INDIAN HINDU FACES EVEN.AFTER MY SKIN WAS MASSACRED THROUGH ADULTERATED MILK. I AM NOT TOLD WHAT ALL THEY HAVE DONE TO MY BRAIN,FACE,FLESH,BREATHING SINCE CHILDHOOD, HOW MANY MALES AND FEMALES HAD THEIR BREATH FORCED INTO ME AND WHO ALL HAVE ACCESSED MY BRAIN AND BODY EVERY DAY AND NIGHT OF MY LIFE TILL THE AGE OF 38, THROUGH THEIR TECHNOLOGY OF REMOTE ACCESS.


Q) INDIANS HAVE GREATLY INTERNATIONALISED THEMSELVES, IN DELHI,BOMBAY AND TRAVELLING ABROAD. WHO ARE THE PEOPLE LIVING THE OPPORTUNITIES THROWN AT THEM?

Ans) THEIR OWN INDIAN CHILDREN, I WAS THROWN INTO UNPAID HOBBY SCAMS OF THE PAST LIKE THEATRE,PRINT,RADIO WHILE ALL THE PAID OPPORTUNITIES WERE KEPT FOR THEIR OWN INDIAN CHILDREN, THEY ARE THE ONES ENJOYING CAREERS IN MULTINATIONAL CORPORATES, SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY, ADVERTISING, MUSIC, COMMERCIAL TELEVISION AND RADIO ENTERTAINMENT, TELEVISION JOURNALISM AND OF COURSE FILM AND CINEMA. I AM NOT PART OF ANY WORK CREDIT IN ANY OF THESE THINGS. IT IS ALL ENJOYED BY INDIAN HINDU MALE AND INDIAN HINDU FEMALE.
ITS SO OBVIOUS INDIANS ARE ENJOYING PARTIES AND MONIES AND WORK CREDIT AND PROFESSIONS AND OPPORTUNITIES, CELEBRATING EVERY DAY WITH THEIR AMERICAN AND EUROPEAN OPPORTUNITY MAKERS.

Q) SO THEY WERE JUST WATCHING YOU MAKE PENETRATED WET PUSSY OUT OF YOU SINCE CHILDHOOD THROUGH ADVANCED SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY?? DIDN'T THEIR EDUCATION SYSTEM NEVER CARE ABOUT YOU??

ANS) THERE IS NO EDUCATION FOR ME IN INDIA, THEY USE ME AND I STUDIED OUT OF MY OWN CHOICE. THE INDIAN ARMY ARMY PUBLIC SCHOOL IS A BROTHEL PROSS MAKING SYSTEM, WHERE GAMES AND ACTIVITIES ARE GIVEN ALL THE TIME AND THE INDIAN ARMY PIMPS AS MANY OF THEIR INDIAN ARMY SLUTS INTO MODELLING, ADVERTISING, BOLLYWOOD,FILM PROSTITUTION,SHOWMANSHIP AND OTHER MONEY MAKING PROSS GAMES. THAT INDIAN ARMY PUBLIC SCHOOL IS SUCH A WASTED SCHOOL SYSTEM THAT THEY DIDN'T BOTHER GETTING ANY OF THEIR BOYS,MEN OR MALES STANDING NEXT TO ME. I DON'T WANT TO GO ANYWHERE NEAR THAT INDIAN ARMY PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM, THEY ARE AS NON EXISTENT FOR ME AS I WAS FOR THEM, EVEN THOUGH THEY USED ME, THEY WERE NOT INTERESTED IN ME, THEY WERE INTERESTED IN THEIR OWN PEOPLE AND OTHER PEOPLE. ALTHOUGH I WAS SENT TO THEIR INDIAN ARMY PUBLIC SCHOOL I FELT AND KNEW EARLY THAT THEY DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW ME OR BE IN ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH ME. THEY HAVE THEIR OWN RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FATHER,MOTHER AND SISTERS WHO WERE BROUGHT UP IN THEIR AREAS AND EVEN THOUGH I WAS USED IN THEIR ARMY PUBLIC SCHOOL, THEY CONTINUED TO RELATE ONLY WITH THEM, NOT WITH ME, SO WHATEVER THEY USED MY TIME FOR AND MADE ME DO IN THEIR INDIAN ARMY PUBLIC SCHOOL DOESN'T EXIST IN MY LIFE. WHATEVER I WAS MADE TO BE ON THE INDIAN ARMY SCHOOL STAGE AND WHATEVER MY TIME WAS USED THERE FOR BELONGS ONLY TO THEM AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.
SINCE I GREW UP CAGED IN A CIVIL AREA I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY INDIAN ARMY SLUT WHO GROWS UP EATING INDIAN ARMY RESOURCES AND TRAVEL.
AS FOR MAKING WET PUSSY, I AM SURE IF THEY CAN WATCH IT, THEY MUST BE MAKING WET PUSSY EVERYWHERE I STRUGGLED, WET PUSSIES ATTENDING CLASS ROOM AND TESTS AND EXAMS, WET PUSSIES STUDYING SCIENCE IN HIGH SCHOOL, WET PUSSIES STUDYING FOR MEDICAL ENTRANCE EXAMS, LAW ENTRANCE EXAMS, CAT MANAGEMENT ENTRANCE EXAMS, WET PUSSIES IN MEDIA AND JOURNALISM, WET PUSSIES AS AN INDIAN STUDENT IN FOREIGN UNIVERSITY, WET PUSSIES ON RADIO BROADCAST, PRINT JOURNALISM, THEATRE STAGE OTHER THAN WET PUSSIES AS CONSUMER FILM SCHOOL WHICH IS WHERE MINE BELONGS.

Q) DESPITE YOUR STRUGGLE AND DESPITE YOUR SITUATION YOU WERE FINALLY FREE AT AGE 21 AND AVAILABLE FOR  BOMBAY PROFESSIONALLY. WHY HAVE THEY NEVER GIVEN YOU A BREAK IN INTO THEIR INDIAN SYSTEM OR LED TO ANYTHING LIFE CHANGING?

Ans) THEIR INDIAN SYSTEM MUST HAVE BEEN SO USED TO CAGING AND ACCESSING MY FACE,BRAIN,BODY AS NUDE,BARE RESOURCE TO BE REMOTELY ACCESSED AND STRUGGLING FOR 21 YEARS THAT ALL THEIR INDIAN OPPORTUNISTS KNOW THEY HAVE TO REJECT,AVOID ME AND THE INDIAN SYSTEM WILL GIVE THEM WHATEVER THEY WANT FOR ENDING ME, INSTEAD OF GIVING ME A BEGINNING.

Q) WHAT ABOUT ALL THE FAMOUS HINDU FAECES FILM DIRECTORS OF BUMBAY THAT YOU APPROACHED AS YOU STRUGGLED FOR BREAK IN AND WORK CREDIT LIKE THE SHOWMAN SUBHASH GHAI.AND THE GAY DICK KAALA MOTTA POT BELLY TONND WHORE ANURAG KASHYAP, DID THEY NOT GIVE YOU ANY WORK CREDIT OR BREAK IN???

Ans) I AM TELLING YOU, HOW I AM  BY THE INDIAN SYSTEM. I AM NOT BROKEN IN TO ANY INDIAN SYSTEM FOR ANY WORK CREDIT, INSTEAD OF ME BEING THE NEW BREAK IN INTO THE INDIAN SYSTEM, THOSE FAT INDIAN HINDU MALE WHORES BECOME THE NEW BREAK IN, THEY MONKEY UP AND BECOME THE NEW BREAK.INS. THEY GET LAKHS AND CRORES PUMPED INTO THEM FOR REJECTING ME AND WORK CREDIT AFTER WORK CREDIT IS THROWN AT THEM FOR ENTERING ADVERTISING BUSINESS, TELEVISION MEDIA PUBLICITY, FOREIGN TRAVEL LIFESTYLES, THEY ARE GIVEN WORK CREDIT AND MONIES IN EVERYTHING FROM ACTING TO SCRIPTWRITING TO HINDI FILM MAKING AND FOREIGN FLIGHTS. THE MORE THEIR INDIAN SYSTEM REJECTS AND AVOIDS ME, THE MORE THEY ARE PAID TO GET BUSINESS, WORK CREDIT AND WHORING PROSTITUTION AND PROSTITUTES.
ALL WORK IN BOMBAY IS GIVEN TO THE ERECT INDIAN HINDU MALE AND ERECT INDIAN HINDU FEMALE, NOBODY  THEM AND THEY ENJOY UNINTERRUPTED WORK CREDIT AND TRAVEL AND BUSINESS IN PEACE.

EVERYONE IN THE INDIAN ARMY IS A WHORE AND EVERYONE IN THE FILM,TV CITY OF BOMBAY IS A WHORE AND PROSTITUTE, WHETHER THEY ARE ACTRESS,SCRIPTWRITER,DIRECTOR OR ANY OTHER PAID,UNPAID JOB, THEIR REAL.JOB IS ONLY TO BE A WHORE, THAT'S WHY THEY ARE THERE.
I CAME BACK.UNLOVED FROM BOLLYWOOD AS WELL. BOLLYWOOD IS ALL ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY LOVE THEIR BLACK.AND BROWN INDIAN HINDU FEMALE OF ALL SHAPES AND SIZES EVEN IF THEY HAVE TO PURCHASE FOREIGN FLESH FOR THEM.

Q) DELHI UNIVERSITY GAVE YOU TRAVEL TO PAKISTAN AND MELBOURNE, WHY DIDN'T INDIA GIVE YOU TRAVEL TO ANYWHERE AFTER THAT?

Ans) I AM TELLING YOU WHAT THE INDIAN SYSTEM DOES TO ME, DESPITE MY AVAILABILITY IN INDIA ALL MY LIFE, THEY DON'T MAKE ME TRAVEL TO ANYWHERE, I WENT TO BOMBAY ALONE ON MY OWN, THE INDIAN SYSTEM ALONG WITH THE REMOTE ACCESS SYSTEM LIKES TO SEE ME ON THE STREETS OF INDIA ALONE WITH NO MALE COMPANION, IN TEARS AND STRUGGLE AND INSTEAD OF MAKING ME TRAVEL WITH THEM, THEY ERECT THEIR OWN SELVES AND THEIR INDIAN PEOPLE TRAVELLING EVERY DAY ALL ACROSS INDIA AND FOREIGN FLIGHTS. INDIANS ARE BUSY HOARDING MONEY AND PROFESSIONAL WORK CREDITS THEY DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO MY FACE,BRAIN,BODY STILL KEPT UNPAID AGE 38 WITH STILL NOT EVEN ANY MONEY TO PURCHASE CLOTHES.

Q) IS THAT WHY YOU HAVE STOPPED CONSUMING INDIAN CONTENT??

Ans) I AM TORMENTED EVER SINCE I STOPPED CONSUMING INDIAN CONTENT, WHILE I WAS CONSUMING INDIAN CONTENT SINCE CHILDHOOD THERE WAS NO OTHER OPTION, I DIDN'T KNOW ANY OTHER WORLD EXISTED FOR ME AND I WAS SPOILING MYSELF AND SELF DESTRUCTING IN IT. EVER SINCE I FREED MYSELF FROM ASPIRING TO STRUGGLE IN THE INDIAN SYSTEM, I REALISED YEARS AND YEARS OF MY LIFE SINCE CHILDHOOD WERE DIRECTED TO CONSUME INDIAN CONTENT, HOW MANY YEARS WASTED IN CONSUMING INDIA'S EDUCATION, INDIAN ADVERTISING, INDIAN FILM, INDIAN TELEVISION, INDIAN MUSIC, INDIAN WRITING, WHO WERE THESE PEOPLE, I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THEIR OWN, NOW I KNOW THEY DIDN'T GIVE ME THEIR OPPORTUNITIES OR ANY LIFE FOR ME, THEY HAVE HATED ME, THEY WANTED ME DESTROYED OR  THEY JUST WANTED TO COVET MY SKIN AND FLESH INTERNALLY, FORCE THEIR OWN VAIN INDIAN FACES ON MY FACE TO BEAUTIFY THEIR OWN SELVES FORCING THEIR INDIAN HINDU MOTTI FACES ON MY FACE BY FORCE, TO COPY AND LOOT MY SPIRIT AND PERSONALITY AND MARKET IT AS THEIR OWN OR THAT OF THEIR CHILDREN AND TO DESTROY MY FRESH FACE AND SKIN ALTOGETHER WHILE CAREFULLY MAKING THEIR OWN INDIAN CHILDREN PROSPER IN EUROPE,AMERICA AND ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD.
MY SPIRIT IS TORMENTED, MY SENSES DON'T WANT TO GO ANYWHERE NEAR  CONSUMING INDIAN FILM,TV,MUSIC,NEWS,RELIGION,EDUCATION,POLITICS,PEOPLE ANYMORE.

Q) WHAT ABOUT ALL THE EFFORT YOU MADE ASPIRING AND STRUGGLING IN INDIA?

ANS) SINCE AN ADVANCED SYSTEM OF TECHNOLOGY HAS ACCESSED MY FACE,EYES,BRAIN,BODY,SENSES SINCE CHILDHOOD AND HAVE BRED ME TO BECOME NOTHING MORE THAN A CONSUMER CAGED IN DELHI AND STRUGGLING TO BE FREE, THEY HAVE ACCESS TO EVERYTHING IN MY BRAIN,SKULL,EYES,SENSES AND BY MY OWN SKIN AND FACE OUT OF THEIR WAY AND NOT MAKING ME ANY PROFESSIONAL ACTOR OR FILM MAKER OR PROFESSIONAL BROADCASTER, THEY HAVE ACCESS TO ALL MY CHILDHOOD DREAMS, ASPIRATIONS,STRUGGLE AND EVERYTHING ELSE THAT EXISTS IN MY HUMAN BODY TO USE AS FREE SOURCE MATERIAL WHICH THEY MUST BE USING AS THEIR OWN SELVES.
I KNOW 38 YEARS OF MY LIFE SPENT IN INDIA HAVE BEEN STOLEN BUT I DO NOT ASPIRE TO CONSUME INDIA OR TO WORK OR STRUGGLE ANYMORE IN INDIA.

Q) IS THAT WHY THEY YOUR SKIN AND NEVER MADE YOU PART OF THEIR INDIAN FAME SYSTEMS AND NEVER MADE YOU FAMOUS??

ANS) THEY ARE TOO BUSY CONSUMING THEIR OWN SELVES AS FAMOUS AND TOO BUSY ENJOYING THE VANITY OF WORK, CAREER,PROFESSION,STUDY AND MARRIED LIVES, THEY DON'T CARE OR BOTHER. EVEN THOUGH I HAVE LIVED NOWHERE OTHER THAN INDIA, NOBODY KNOWS THAT A CHILD SIM3 HAS BEEN BORN,BRED IN INDIA AND ACCESSED AND USED SINCE CHILDHOOD AND TORMENTED AND TRAUMATISED SINCE CHILDHOOD.

YOU CAN READ THIS AND SEE FOR YOURSELF WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO MY LIFE AND PERSONALITY EVEN AT THE AGE OF  38. I AM NOT REVEALING THIS TORMENT AS A CREDITED ACTRESS,FILMMAKER OR JOURNALIST OR ANY OTHER PROFESSION , I HAVEN'T LIVED ANY OF THOSE LIVES OR CAREERS, BUT TO BE COMPELLED TO MY  OWN BARE SELF IN MY OWN WORDS,  TILL THE AGE OF 38 WHILE NEW AND ADVANCED TECHNOLOGIES ADD MORE MONIES AND PARTIES TO PEOPLE LIKE HINDU INDIANS AND THEIR ONGOING FUCK AND MONEY PARTY CONTINUES WHERE EUROPE AND AMERICA KEEP PUMPING MONIES AND LIFESTYLE AND CAREERS AND TRAVEL INTO INDIAN HINDUS AND THEY DON'T GIVE ME A BEGINNING TO ANY WORK OR LIFE, TILL THE AGE OF 38 THEY DON'T EVEN MAKE,ME EARN TO BUY CLOTHES TO WEAR. IN INNOCENCE I WANTED THEIR INDIANS TO PROSPER AND PROGRESS BECAUSE IT'S WITHIN MY PERSONALITY TO WANT EVERYTHING I AM SURROUNDED WITH TO PROSPER WITH LOVE. SO THAT THEY WILL ALSO GIVE ME A LIFE TO LIVE AND WORK WITH THEM BUT THEY WANTED ME TO BE DESTROYED AND AND LOOTED ME OF EVERYTHING. WHAT ARE THEIR EUROPEAN AND AMERICAN POWER GIVERS PAYING THEM CRORES AND LAKHS OF RUPEES ,DOLLARS AND POUNDS FOR??

THERE IS NO REAL EDUCATION GIVEN TO ME IN INDIA, I LEARNT HOW TO READ ENGLISH IN THEIR SCHOOL AND AT HOME AND ACCESS THE WEB AND COMPUTER. ALL OF INDIAN EDUCATION AND INDIAN CONSUMPTION LED MY FACE,BRAIN,BODY TOWARDS THE HINDU SCHEDULED CASTE SERVANT QUARTERS OF BOMBAY AND I WILL NEVER GO THERE AGAIN.

I REALISED THE WAY I HAVE BEEN ACCESSED SINCE CHILDHOOD IS NOT ABOUT ENTERTAINMENT, IT IS NEW AGE WARFARE, THEY HAVE BEEN AT WAR WITH ME SINCE MY INNOCENT CHILDHOOD AND FOR 38 YEARS NOW. THEY MY FACE ESPECIALLY, EVEN NOW WHEN I WANT TO TAKE A FULL PICTURE OF MYSELF FOR MEMORY FOR THE RARE, FEW PHOTOS I HAVE OF MYSELF, THEY SHOOT AND  MY OWN FACE AND REPLACE IT THROUGH REMOTE TECHNOLOGY WITH A KAALI MOTTI INDIAN HINDU RACE FACE OR MALE FACES TO TORMENT ME EVEN AFTER CONTINUOUSLY MY SKIN WITH ADULTERATED MILK AND SALT. WHAT MEMORY SHOULD I HAVE ANYMORE ABOUT THE DIRT,FILTH INDIAN COUNTRY INDIA AND THEIR EUROPEAN AND AMERICAN POWER SUPPLIERS AND CARETAKERS AND LOVERS. IT HAS BEEN A MEANINGLESS LIFE AND STRUGGLE IN INDIA SINCE. CHILDHOOD WHERE IT COULD JUST HAVE BEEN A WORKING, HAPPY,PROFESSIONAL, ACTIVE LIFE IN INDIA IN MY OWN FACE,SKIN,THOUGHT AND FEELING.

MY SOUL HAS BEEN STRIPPED OPEN SINCE CHILDHOOD FOR 38 YEARS BUT I AM NOT MADE PART OF ANY ART TO HEAL ME AND THE REMOTE ACCESS TECHNOLOGY RAPISTS CONTINUE TO TORMENT EVERY DAY AND NIGHT OF MY LIFE.

THE ONLY FEELING I HAVE IS I HAVE BEEN  SINCE CHILDHOOD, MY OWN FACE HAS BEEN MURDERED SINCE CHILDHOOD THROUGH REMOTE TECHNOLOGY. AND MY SPIRIT TORMENTED, WHICH IS HOW I AS A PERSON HAVE BEEN SINCE CHILDHOOD WHICH IS WHY ALL OF MY STRUGGLE SINCE CHILDHOOD HAS BEEN STOLEN, ALL OF MY LIFE HAS BEEN STOLEN WHILE OTHERS HAVE BEEN BEAUTIFYING AND PRETTYIFYING THEIR OWN SELVES.