Friday, September 07, 2018
Lonely Christmas - Video memory from Christmas in Gulmarg, Kashmir 2016
Thursday, September 06, 2018
Sunday, September 02, 2018
Questions & Answers - Childhood & the Vagina
http://smritimuse.blogspot.com/search/label/Pictures%20-%20childhood?m=0
Q) An internal remote access system that has been playing with your brain and body since childhood and in your 37th year your vagina is still on show for them through remote access?
Ans) Yes. When all of my body,brain,face,eyes,nervous system has been remotely accessed since childhood for 3 decades now, bare, why would my vagina be hidden from them?
Q) You do have a relationship with your own vagina then instead of any human?
Ans) That's what the exploitation of my life since childhood has turned out to be.
Q) And what exactly is this relationship with your vagina?
Ans) Lets go back to when i was being readied at 4 or 5 years of age and i didn't know that some remote access system was able to access me and use me. I only knew how to live with my family and go to the army school where i was used for on stage activities. My brain was still developing and it was trying to develop a relationship with the various faces that were forced on my face through remote access technology so I grew up in bitterness and confusion in every way with nobody to lead me. The Indian media exposure and western exposure in India and the sort of influence it had in our home made me sexually active in some way since 4 or 5 years of age. I was made to lipkiss my mother as a child and was made to sleep on her bed with her in the absence of our father who was away serving Army postings. There was overexposure of Indian film,tv,advertising content while my brain,body,face, senses, nervous system were remotely accessed and 'played' with. My family members too were very outspoken about sexual content like my face,thighs,breasts and often teased me since primary school and later from everything about my bra colour and very early about vaginal discharge in my vagina and panty. I began spreading my legs since primary school on whatever hard surfaces I found, wooden chalkboards, wooden bedsides,wooden chairs, home metal staircases, bicycle seats. As you can tell i was innocent and my innocence was exploited as a free show to be watched by remote access.
Q) And all through these years, the army school was using you on their free on stage activity?
Ans) Yes.
Q) Without any conversation about you, with you?
Ans) Yes. I am 37 now no Army school has still had any conversation about me with me.
Q) Then what other contact did your vagina make over the years?
Ans) Through the first 15 years these were hard surfaces where i was spreading my thighs and orgasming to then after age 20 from age 20 to age 29, my vagina had felt too much contact with hard surfaces so now my vagina and thighs were making contact with softer surfaces like pillows, blankets, bedsheets, right from my year long stay in Melbourne to Mumbai.
Q) And this is all being watched?
Ans) Of course. Its a free show of a bare childhood onward. All along while my internals are handed over to multiple users internally through technology who 'play' with my face, brain, body, feeling, nervous system.
Q) And in Delhi growing up in the civil government area in the 90s you were also given adulterated drug chemicals in milk to heighten your sexual activity?
Ans) Possibly because sometimes i found my mind racing and then slowing down making it difficult to study which i struggled with. I was being forced into some kind of drug induced HIGHS and LOWS with no drug intake.
Q) What is so special about your relationship with your own vagina to you?
Ans) See, i have been exploited since childhood being brought up in India between the Indian army and the Indian civil government area. I was never told about how i was being remotely accessed bare through technology and i was being used under a 'learn to obey' scheme and heckled and humiliated and mocked within the family. Neither was I educated clearly what it meant to be from Kashmir, Muzzafarabad or Srinagar until I chose to study on my own and be educated about it since age 18. So all the damage that was done to me till then had already destroyed me. Now, the family members especially my parents who failed to conceive a son and instead gave birth to me, their third daughter often heckled me and forced me to boy-role for them which i didn't like at all. My hair was forced to remain boy-cut which i didn't like either. They often addressed me with a gender swap, "baba, tu aaya, tu gaya, tune khaaya?" which i didn't like either. I was born a girl and wanted to be acknowledged and remain that way. It was all a part of being readied for whatever they were readying me for. So, i held on to my own female sexual identification genitals between my thighs very early.
Q) Other than your family and the show system, did the remote access also contribute in the forced transgendering?
Ans) Of course. They looted me off my own face since childhood and forced several other faces of males, females on me for 3 decades now. The Indian stage was also humiliating me openly by making me do boy roles and male parts and then their audience was directed to laugh at it, whether it was the Indian army school stage or delhi theatre groups. Even the bombay stage was making content about humiliating gender swap and prostitution according to the hindu system. They wanted me to feel like my body is that of a man, or my face is that of a man, and that I am born to some other race than the culture my dna belongs to.
Q) So, within all the forced transgendering and race modification done by the family, remote access technology and every other system in India you held on to your vagina, to feel like the girl you were born as and denied to be?
Ans) Yes. It helped steal my own real self from within these traps I am born to and used by and to remain a girlchild and woman.
Q) What about your body and vagina, what is their relationship like?
Ans) My body has had to obey the systems I am born to. As a child I travelled to wherever my family took me and i was force fed whatever greasy food the family force fed me and i was forced to remain indoors the way my family forced me to and i was forced to sleep in the security of my mother. And my body was obviously being used by the army school stage on a 'obey' basis the way they wanted in their extra curricular activities and i was to obey them and they worked mostly on my voice and speech only and never really directed my body or sexual life when they could have given me some health and fitness tips.
Q) You were first fattened by force fed greasy home food and then turned tall, did that affect your relationship with your vagina?
Ans) People have to understand that a woman of whatever shape, fattened or tall doesn't become a man just by being tall and I hate any of that mis-use of my own gender and thankfully my relationship with my vagina kept me aware of my own femininity even if a system wanted to exploit my height or face and force me to become anyone else or boy-role or man-role just because I am a tall woman.
Q) So within all these race modifications and gender modifications that have been forced upon you since childhood for 3 decades now, your
innocent childhood relationship with your own vagina has saved you in some way?
Ans) It has. My vagina is still the blessed part of my womanhood just as it was of my girlhood and it has kept me aware of my own self. Since they tried so hard to modify my face since childhood, abuse my brain, exploit my body but my vagina helped me see through all of that exploitation and helped me crave for my own cultural identification instead of the other races whose faces were forced on my face through remote access technology and other peoples breath forced into me.
Q) So, since childhood say since you were 5-6 years old spreading your legs on hard surfaces and then your own struggle in Melbourne, Delhi, Mumbai, and all of you is being watched internally bare as your spread your thighs into various surfaces and orgasm to it in the absence of any sexual relationship, has anyone ever in your 3 decades plus life ever cared enough or referred your vagina to be medically examined for health reasons or possible infections ever at all? To a medical doctor or gynecologist?
Ans) NO.
Other than the incident forced on me in 2010 at age 29.
Q) And all these internal 'watchers', 'players', 'modifiers' of you have only been watching and using you via remote access control since childhood?
Ans) Yes. They are enemies of me. They must have been happy watching me destroyed since childhood in every way. The rest of them, power pimps, must have filled their own crotches with power, money, publicity exploiting this information about me.
Q) Is this why At the Film and t.v Institute of India, when an actors penis was directed to enter you overnight in 2010 and ejaculate into you, it was done to your anus and not your vagina?
Ans) They don't tell me. Ask them. It is like a bad experience for me obviously, one of the worst nights of my life. But there was other kind of sexual humiliation that they wanted to give to me. They also wanted to humiliate me about piles in my anus that developed when hot,greasy food was forced on me by my family growing up in the excessive heat of Delhi in the 1990s and the various modifications made to me by remote access which possibly including forcing artificial heat onto my body internally.
So the 2010 abort was the only time i have had my vagina examined by doctors.
Q) Is this also why you were forced in semen in adulterated food stuff when you were brought back to Delhi since 2012?
Ans) Again, ask them, whoever those criminals are. There is possibly something to do with Gujarati politics of India of in it as well for gujarati pimps and prostitutes and their political power and fame, its part of a rape and abuse carried out by power pimps. They also wanted to prove that since I am tall, they didn't need just a tall man to rape, abort me and a physical medical termination, rape abort could be carried out by short men and their penis too, by mixing semen with adulterated food stuff to conceive in the womb and then medically terminated through the remote access technology system internally.
Q) And you are still spreading your legs out to them, making contact with various surfaces, quilts and blankets and bedsheets, orgasming to them while remote access technology watch ?
Ans) I don't have any other beginning to life or work even until now. And I do not know who the watchers are, all i have is memory of my own childhood and its instinctive relationship with my womanhood, my vagina.
Q) Amazing that you have wasted and given all your life and time to India by being born here and living here and they make some 900 crap films every year that give characters,crores and care to all their women and men they make and run 24.7 filth television, but they havent bothered to even acknowledge that you exist, leave aside ever making you part of their work or treat you out of your misery in any way?
Ans) the internal indian system has supported them in looting all of my life, career, personality,being,struggle effort and making somebody elses life and career with it. They are poison to me. I curse them. Obviously I dont consume their poison any more.
Q) But maybe all these watchers were never interested into your vagina and in 3 decades didn't even refer your vagina to a doctor?
Ans) Maybe they are not interested in mine, ever even when i was a little girl and they are only interested in playing with other little girls with fresh genitalia and innocent brains and god help and save those children. As you can tell I am not LITTLE but obviously i live with my own vagina and they haven't been able to force me to be trans gendered.
Q) Okay, not just neglecting your vagina, these Show makers or controllers who remotely access you for 3 decades now and the external ways in which you have been used since childhood, did not ever direct your body towards human touch?
Ans) No. Not even when they rarely gave me any 'role' to play, not even then. It's like I didn't exist for them, other than to be humiliated. And very late and very sparingly in real life. My dog gave me touch instead till it was alive. Whichever show pimps or power pimps watch me in misery they possibly go give touch,love etc to their paid visible prostitutes or other people instead and that doesnt mean anything to me. Its like them giving love or touch to some other body because my body is being neglected or them giving clothes to some other body because my body is naked with no clothes. Those pimps and their paid visible prostitutes mean nothing to me. I have been given very little experience of human touch for my age. These Indians havent even given me the experience of resting my head on anybodys shoulder to cry on, my body by this age of 37 doesnt even have that experience.
Q) What did you mean, when you said previously about other people trying to replace you and your struggle with some other vagina?
Ans) See, they can try to modify, change, destroy my face, modify other parts of my body and copy, loot, my own struggle by copying my face or name but they have not lived the life or absence of it, which my own vagina has. For example, if men try to loot and copy my struggle even if they become trans gendered, they cannot become Me because they have a penis which i don't. And if they try to loot me by copying and looting my struggle out through their women, even those women are not Me, because their vagina isn't what my vagina is since childhood. And I don't want to become those people either.
Ans) Of course. They looted me off my own face since childhood and forced several other faces of males, females on me for 3 decades now. The Indian stage was also humiliating me openly by making me do boy roles and male parts and then their audience was directed to laugh at it, whether it was the Indian army school stage or delhi theatre groups. Even the bombay stage was making content about humiliating gender swap and prostitution according to the hindu system. They wanted me to feel like my body is that of a man, or my face is that of a man, and that I am born to some other race than the culture my dna belongs to.
Q) So, within all the forced transgendering and race modification done by the family, remote access technology and every other system in India you held on to your vagina, to feel like the girl you were born as and denied to be?
Ans) Yes. It helped steal my own real self from within these traps I am born to and used by and to remain a girlchild and woman.
Q) What about your body and vagina, what is their relationship like?
Ans) My body has had to obey the systems I am born to. As a child I travelled to wherever my family took me and i was force fed whatever greasy food the family force fed me and i was forced to remain indoors the way my family forced me to and i was forced to sleep in the security of my mother. And my body was obviously being used by the army school stage on a 'obey' basis the way they wanted in their extra curricular activities and i was to obey them and they worked mostly on my voice and speech only and never really directed my body or sexual life when they could have given me some health and fitness tips.
Q) You were first fattened by force fed greasy home food and then turned tall, did that affect your relationship with your vagina?
Ans) People have to understand that a woman of whatever shape, fattened or tall doesn't become a man just by being tall and I hate any of that mis-use of my own gender and thankfully my relationship with my vagina kept me aware of my own femininity even if a system wanted to exploit my height or face and force me to become anyone else or boy-role or man-role just because I am a tall woman.
Q) So within all these race modifications and gender modifications that have been forced upon you since childhood for 3 decades now, your
innocent childhood relationship with your own vagina has saved you in some way?
Ans) It has. My vagina is still the blessed part of my womanhood just as it was of my girlhood and it has kept me aware of my own self. Since they tried so hard to modify my face since childhood, abuse my brain, exploit my body but my vagina helped me see through all of that exploitation and helped me crave for my own cultural identification instead of the other races whose faces were forced on my face through remote access technology and other peoples breath forced into me.
Q) So, since childhood say since you were 5-6 years old spreading your legs on hard surfaces and then your own struggle in Melbourne, Delhi, Mumbai, and all of you is being watched internally bare as your spread your thighs into various surfaces and orgasm to it in the absence of any sexual relationship, has anyone ever in your 3 decades plus life ever cared enough or referred your vagina to be medically examined for health reasons or possible infections ever at all? To a medical doctor or gynecologist?
Ans) NO.
Other than the incident forced on me in 2010 at age 29.
Q) And all these internal 'watchers', 'players', 'modifiers' of you have only been watching and using you via remote access control since childhood?
Ans) Yes. They are enemies of me. They must have been happy watching me destroyed since childhood in every way. The rest of them, power pimps, must have filled their own crotches with power, money, publicity exploiting this information about me.
Q) Is this why At the Film and t.v Institute of India, when an actors penis was directed to enter you overnight in 2010 and ejaculate into you, it was done to your anus and not your vagina?
Ans) They don't tell me. Ask them. It is like a bad experience for me obviously, one of the worst nights of my life. But there was other kind of sexual humiliation that they wanted to give to me. They also wanted to humiliate me about piles in my anus that developed when hot,greasy food was forced on me by my family growing up in the excessive heat of Delhi in the 1990s and the various modifications made to me by remote access which possibly including forcing artificial heat onto my body internally.
So the 2010 abort was the only time i have had my vagina examined by doctors.
Q) Is this also why you were forced in semen in adulterated food stuff when you were brought back to Delhi since 2012?
Ans) Again, ask them, whoever those criminals are. There is possibly something to do with Gujarati politics of India of in it as well for gujarati pimps and prostitutes and their political power and fame, its part of a rape and abuse carried out by power pimps. They also wanted to prove that since I am tall, they didn't need just a tall man to rape, abort me and a physical medical termination, rape abort could be carried out by short men and their penis too, by mixing semen with adulterated food stuff to conceive in the womb and then medically terminated through the remote access technology system internally.
Q) And you are still spreading your legs out to them, making contact with various surfaces, quilts and blankets and bedsheets, orgasming to them while remote access technology watch ?
Ans) I don't have any other beginning to life or work even until now. And I do not know who the watchers are, all i have is memory of my own childhood and its instinctive relationship with my womanhood, my vagina.
Q) Amazing that you have wasted and given all your life and time to India by being born here and living here and they make some 900 crap films every year that give characters,crores and care to all their women and men they make and run 24.7 filth television, but they havent bothered to even acknowledge that you exist, leave aside ever making you part of their work or treat you out of your misery in any way?
Ans) the internal indian system has supported them in looting all of my life, career, personality,being,struggle effort and making somebody elses life and career with it. They are poison to me. I curse them. Obviously I dont consume their poison any more.
Q) But maybe all these watchers were never interested into your vagina and in 3 decades didn't even refer your vagina to a doctor?
Ans) Maybe they are not interested in mine, ever even when i was a little girl and they are only interested in playing with other little girls with fresh genitalia and innocent brains and god help and save those children. As you can tell I am not LITTLE but obviously i live with my own vagina and they haven't been able to force me to be trans gendered.
Q) Okay, not just neglecting your vagina, these Show makers or controllers who remotely access you for 3 decades now and the external ways in which you have been used since childhood, did not ever direct your body towards human touch?
Ans) No. Not even when they rarely gave me any 'role' to play, not even then. It's like I didn't exist for them, other than to be humiliated. And very late and very sparingly in real life. My dog gave me touch instead till it was alive. Whichever show pimps or power pimps watch me in misery they possibly go give touch,love etc to their paid visible prostitutes or other people instead and that doesnt mean anything to me. Its like them giving love or touch to some other body because my body is being neglected or them giving clothes to some other body because my body is naked with no clothes. Those pimps and their paid visible prostitutes mean nothing to me. I have been given very little experience of human touch for my age. These Indians havent even given me the experience of resting my head on anybodys shoulder to cry on, my body by this age of 37 doesnt even have that experience.
Q) What did you mean, when you said previously about other people trying to replace you and your struggle with some other vagina?
Ans) See, they can try to modify, change, destroy my face, modify other parts of my body and copy, loot, my own struggle by copying my face or name but they have not lived the life or absence of it, which my own vagina has. For example, if men try to loot and copy my struggle even if they become trans gendered, they cannot become Me because they have a penis which i don't. And if they try to loot me by copying and looting my struggle out through their women, even those women are not Me, because their vagina isn't what my vagina is since childhood. And I don't want to become those people either.
Saturday, September 01, 2018
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ALONE, ALWAYS ALONE. ALONE IN BOMBAY, NOBODY THERE WITH ME, NO CARE FOR ME. PHOTOS SELFIES, DELHI,BOMBAY ...
