And nobody ever told me how were the other ways i was being remotely accessed. whether they used me bare, which means all my sexual life with my own self was available to them since my childhood which they remotely 'participated' in and all of my efforts in studying and all my thought and aspiration and misery while being caged in Delhi was available to them through remote access and yet nobody came to me to lead or direct or help me in any way and they watched me suffer in misery.
Did they even modify and play with my own brain,thought,feeling other than my face since childhood to puppet it the way they wanted, the way the remote access system is now displaying to me in my brain??? As a child, despite the ways in which i was being used i wanted to study and not be wasted away in becoming a passive consumer of India and worked very hard at attending every day of the Indian system sacrificing every other part of childhood and life and sacrificing every enjoyment other than the life within my home and family. I worked hard to study whatever the Indian system sold in their school and only on my own and my parents insistence because I didn't want to be an academic failure the way the Indian army school system was directing me to be by exploiting and exhausting me in all their free on stage and other activities. I studied science till 12th standard with good marks after rigorous effort and struggle as per my parents wish, appeared for medical entrance exams after studying for them, in the years to follow I studied for management entrance examinations and was put on the wait list and studied for and cleared other entrance examinations like India's law which I did not want to study. I could have spent all that time or effort on any other routine in Life or on my own self or personal grooming none of which was ever given to me in any stage of my life.
I had hope that when you struggle you will get the returns for it because hardwork and effort is the only way but since my fathers family is of Muzzafarabadi origin i don't experience India the same way as Indians are made to, despite hardwork and struggle and being used. But I wanted to investigate the misery that I was suffering in ignorance in every way internally so I aspired to study Journalism in the Indian system and hoped to learn, earn,live through a working life. And though the college system of India did add more real education and life than the Indian army mediocre school system did life was still only about unpaid struggle and it added some answers to my curiousness of Kashmir that I specifically wanted to reconnect with where my parents are from. Soon after, my face that was still being 'played with' internally through remote access technology and skin was destroyed away with spots,cuts puss and scars and now with chemically induced facial hair through adulterated chemicals to humiliate me physically,visibly and sexually yet again while now also use remote access technology to pull off clumps of hair from my hair, claiming they are showing, 'autumn/patjhad' by pulling off the hair on my head by force. At other times they use remote access technology to forcibly destroy and tangle my naturally straight,long hair which was mostly kept cut since childhood.
Over the years that I struggled in Bombay I was given minor jobs and yet another attending classroom experience but never any introduction to the Indian commercial systems or made part of any creative work despite struggle,effort,merit,talent,availability, I was still treated as the unwanted outsider aspiring to be living and working in India in any way who was still kept at a distance to the real goings on of the Indian system while I kept struggling, still alone aspiring to meet people, aspire to work, still study, still be alone in Indian public transport systems with the lowest income Indians could pay me or otherwise being used for free.
Instead of giving me any creative life or career which could heal me of the ways in which i was exploited since childhood, they considered me murdered and dead to waste me and destroy me further and each one of them took turns to loot away as much as they could from my creative struggle,effort,written and creative direction, personal struggle including my need and desire to desperately reconnect with Kashmir and placed their prostitutes and their careers and businesses and their own careers,work credit and businesses on it with no beginning to any life or career for me while the remote access technology system continued to eat into my face,brain,body forcing other faeces on my face and accessing and using my brain and body watching me struggle in miserable circumstances.
The more the Bombay film, tv pimps could cut and copy me off and destroy and humiliate and stop me from any life or career, the more money and media publicity was pumped in their businesses and work credit and those of their prostitutes. Delhi media and political business pimps did the same thing in looting away my struggle and placing their copies and prostitutes commercially and now they all continue their party together to shove more power, media publicity,fame, money, work experience in their own faeces,names and genitals. Their commerical face and name marketing industry in Bombay and Delhi operates by looting off my struggle, not making me part of their system professionally or in any other and then paying,employing and marketing puppets through which they can market any misleading visible puppet into their audiences and peoples brains and eyes to sell lies such as I am living some paid prostitution pleasure life or I have enjoyed married lives or breeding children or even that I have been given any clothes to wear while they continue lying to, looting, cheating their own people.
Over the years it became clear that Indians were not leading me towards life but towards destruction or self destruction. They were not applying my being or personality or creative aspiration in any way and were looting of my own being in every way while I kept struggling with no income and no life. This country India and it's people that I was made to be one with and consume through their Indian media,film,tv,news, didn't want me to be one with them and showed their hate towards me in every way. While of course the remote access technology still kept eating at my face,brain,body,nervous system as I struggled alone with pen,paper,computer. Indians didn't even give me a life where my body could be applied in any way or that I could even aspire to make purchases of clothes despite my body available to them for free show probably because the remote access system was already accessing,using,abusing my face and body internally since childhood while indians didn't even give me any caring human touch externally. They looted me of even smaller joys of life.Indians directed my life towards their old systems like free show stage where i was occasionally used for free to be staged and shown to be humiliated and not directed towards any life or towards tabloid print otherwise they only watched me still struggling in their system with even my face and skin being destroyed through adulterated chemicals. While they directed me towards free show stage, pen and paper while looting me of every other aspiration while i was innocent and ignorant they trained their own Indian children in all contemporary professional and commercial careers with technical skills like commercial radio,Commercial television entertainment,commercial TV news, commercial advertising industries,commercial corporate businesses, commercial film making and even commercial politics. They gave them professional work credit, professional creative work, they gave them money,careers, travel,clothes,lifestyle,money to make homes, media coverage and invited them to their parties and lived life with them and applied them creatively and gave them life to live. They made their own children struggle through work where the struggle shows and they are paid for that struggle whereas Indians kept and 'watched' me struggling alone and for free for their own use. While everything from my face, brain, aspiration,creative struggle, career was cut open to be used as free source material. Bombay pimps of the film, tv business were only directed internally to 'copy' me off of every struggle,effort,idea,destiny,success which meant they looted all of my life and career and never made me part of their work either and were paid money after money to make their own work and those of their puppet prostitutes with their faeces and names publicised in the media and their own businesses flourishing with no beginning to my life or career. I had already stopped consuming India's television of their ongoing TV party 20 years ago and now I don't even consume any Bombay film poison party either and only now can i realise in how many ways i was used and kept strategically ignorant and looted off of all of my life. The world wide web kept me aware of contemporary life in the World and about Kashmir while Indians were enjoying their own party. All through these years the world was still in conflict with global terrorism dominating the news whereas Indians were flourishing with careers,professions,travel,income,lives to live. I am kept alive in India to be kept indoors with a plate of food and access to the world wide web whereas everything from my face,brain,body was abused,destroyed in every way and all of my life,career aspiration,struggle,written word,envisioned idea,thought,success was looted off by Indians. So, all of my life in India along with the remote access technology system eating at me since childhood is about my face being raped and skin destroyed, with my body abused,wasted or accessed bare all for free of course with all my effort,study,struggle looted with no beginning to any life,career and no beginning to any earning income and no aspiration of home making,marriage or childbirth. Every thing I reveal about how I have been abused and destroyed in India instead of living a promising life falls on deaf ears and blind eyes because the systems that pimped me since childhood and the systems that used and destroyed me pay off the people who copy,mislead or destroy me instead of giving me life or work credit or a career.
Everything I struggled with since childhood and in Delhi and Bombay has been used as free source material to make and market other peoples lives and careers with no beginning to my life or career.The way my own face,brain,breath was looted from within me since childhood through remote access technology, my own being has been obliterated from my own struggle,effort and destiny and despite struggle since childhood for more than 3 decades I don't exist anywhere professionally.
Indian systems have exploited me in ways that my life is made available to them to be used for free in every way and that I get no returns, financial or any other for all of my struggle and effort, leave aside merit or talent.
My life experiences in India are of being destroyed away in every way, strategically used,humiliated,abused,looted of every joy,happiness as well as of every struggle,effort,success.
It is no surprise that India has strategically tried to destroy,loot and kill every Kashmiri citizen in whichever way they can, regardless of religion through abusive force and all other strategies and Indians continue their own noisy parties, celebrating,partying,breeding.
A MEANINGLESS LIFE IN INDIA
Indians used me since childhood since I was born here, I never wished any ill for anyone, not even an Indian, but over the years I realised that those Indians were wishing ill and bad things for me and that they were not my own people, I imagined myself to be growing up among my own people and was made to consume their Indian film and television and Indian education, but I realised despite my struggle since childhood they never considered me their own. They were wishing me ill, giving me hateful and jealous taunts, they didn't want me to live and prosper among them.
An Internal remote control technology system had access to my bare face,brain,body,vagina since my childhood, but I was never told about it, the army school that started using and exhausting me in their extraneous extra curricular activities, never really bothered to train or groom my face,brain,body according to their military standards, I only managed to travel a little during the early years of my childhood along with my parents and as a family and after that it was years of being forced to live indoors a civil government area in Delhi.
I still never spoke ill against anyone, not even an Indian. I had no other people of my own, other than family members and thought they were also our people.
Over the years, I realised, that Indians had plotted to abuse my life in every way, so that i was available as a face,brain,body to abused by them and over the years wherever i struggled I only realised they were not making me part of their happy, flourishing Indian systems. At every stage, they tried to destroy whatever I succeeded in, internally they were abusing my face,brain,body and every year of struggle they tried new ways to cut,destroy wherever i struggled, but for their own children they arranged all opportunities and gave them lives and careers.
My face, was raped and murdered since my childhood, they forced in their own Indian faces on my own face and never told me what they were doing to me, all my childhood was in misery, eventually they killed my skin through adulterated chemicals in adulterated milk and salt. Killing and murdering my face and skin, will not 'beautify' their own Indian faces which they spend crores of money on fake film,television,make-up,studious,lighting etc on, but appreciating my own kashmiri face and skin among their own people would have made them beautiful, which they will never be now, they will remain ugly and hideous in my memory forever.
My human body which was being accessed remotely through an advanced technology system which can remotely access the brain,face,body and do whatever they want with it, 'played' with me, watching me slide my vagina onto wood pieces and metal railings but never came to me to heal or stop or direct me. They must have watched me bare since childhood without bothering what happens to my own face,brain,body,vagina which they had access to and were 'playing with'.
Although the Indian army school was exploiting my childhood through extraneous on-stage parts where i was meant to show up in old hand-me down clothes of my own relatives or just show up despite academic struggle along side which they possibly wanted to destroy, India never gave me any stage parts of stage experiences and nothing worth remembering. their stage directors of bombay and delhi only exploited me on stage with humiliating parts with no direction to life and gave no memory worth remembering. Since I was not given any camera access by my family, I do not have my own memories of a rotten filth Indian childhood either. I do not consume Indian direction any more.
I struggled to be a part of broadcasting, I struggled with radio speech training along with studying science. Indians eventually never made me part of their own radio broadcasting or television broadcasting resources or lifestyles. I gave myself into public broadcast radio for several years at the lowest payment but I was neither shown into their Indian commercial radio business where they sell junk and filth and earn money, nor was I ever shown their television business, of entertainment of journalism, where they sell lies and commercial businesses. For their own Indian children of all colours, shapes, sizes they opened all professional career doors in radio and television, entertainment and journalism and gave them education,technical training, salaries,travel, careers.
I do not consume any India radio or television any more.
My family had made me consume old Indian films since childhood and that cost me a lot of time in my childhood and even though I struggled to be one with Indians in their film, they directed to keep me caged within my own family with the lowest income and never considered me a part of their own selves. I forced my self into their film school where they didn't want me and consumed old films from other parts of the world and began writing. Although they did lead me to a low income desk job, they never made me part of any credited work.
India's system is designed to kill and copy, so while all through my years in Bombay, they killed me from all work credit, they copied and stole everything I struggled to write alone and gave it their own Indian names and furthered their own businesses.
Although I struggled on the streets of Bombay, in half rooms, in public transport systems on roads,buses,trains and eventually led into scheduled caste servant quarter apartments, they gave me no train or flight ticket to anywhere and showed me no part of India other than Pune, Bombay.
Although Indian 'film directors' showed off how they were paid monies to make film,after film and how they ran their businesses, Indian's did not give me any technical training or access to any of their resources or cameras and obviously never directed to make me into a film director either.
Although Bombay city runs 24.7 powered entertainment shows, they never invited me or showed me any of their lives or shows.
All along the remote technology remote control system was still watching me alone on the streets of Bombay and killing my own face and playing with my brain and body. I had no other life to live.
Only because of the world wide web, I could reconnect with places and people, Although I was reading books and educating my own self, with access to google search and social media places, I could keep educating my own curiosity and connect with people in Kashmir.
In India my face,brain,body were all made part of mock shows to be wasted,destroyed,humiliated and no beginning ever given to my professional or personal life, every part of my face and human body has been severely humiliated by Indians and sold internally as mock shows.
Indian's never gave me any financial independence either with the lowest paying ,5,000-20,000 jobs in places where otherwise lakhs and crores of money are thrust in and forced me to be dependent on my own parents.
Since 2012, the remote technology system began openly accessing my face,brain,body from within the room in Delhi where I came to live with my parents, They wanted it to be the worst experience for me, where they wanted to stop me further from becoming a part of their professional commercial Indian public systems and sold mock shows out of my face,brain,body, fed me more adulteration, did whatever they wanted to my face,brain,body through their remote access technology and continued to watch me alone on the streets of Delhi never coming to give me any professional life to live, or any other life here,, while stealing every part of my struggle in their Indian systems and giving work after work, career after career to their own Indian daughters of Indian hindu parents.
Indians take the worst of their people and give them the best of the resources accessible to them but despite abusing me since childhood since my availability to them, they never made me part of their credited work.
It isn't me who didn't want to be one with Indians, I was born and brought up here, I lived here, I struggled with Indian faces forced on my face since childhood, I studied in their education system sacrificing my own pleasures despite being exploited by their school and college, I struggled within their public spaces, public half rooms and public transport, all alone, it is Indians who didn't want me among them, it is Indian's who got me caged back into the same family I am born in, it is Indians who willed to destroy my face,personality,speech,character in every way so that they could openly copy and steal every part of my struggle and use it as free source for their Indian daughters and Indian sons and even foreigners.
They have watched every year of my life wasted and destroyed, with no professional or personal beginning to my life, that's how they kill, copy and steal and that's how they earn crores of stolen money, never paying me anything, never making me a part of their lives in India.
I do not consume Indians any more.
