Questions and Answers 

Summer lilies Blooming

My Winter Holiday - self shot clips from my phone and camera remembering falling snow

                      MY WINTER HOLIDAY

 

Personal photos

EXPERIENCING SNOWFALL

Questions & Answers

Q) So you haven’t stepped out of your room for more than 3 weeks now?

Ans) Yes, it’s because of consuming some disturbing news from Kashmir and maybe the recently discovered feeling of snowed-in winter in me. So my life lives within the connected computer box.

Q) So what did you do with that time?

Ans) I tried to read but couldn’t, I looked over my notes and video tapes and cut some visuals up from my phone camera footage when I experienced snowfall for the first time a few months back.

Q) You don’t record your own self much?

Ans) I wanted to as a child and teenager, when I was ignorantly discovering multiple faces on my face and my sensitive skin that was still soft and fresh but I was strictly given no access to a camera so 20 years passed away and when I was directed away from aspiring for tv broadcasting at age 20 and my skin was being destroyed away while multiple faces were still being forced on my face and I finally acquired a consumer video camera I just did not want to videotape my wasted face which has experienced so many faces on it since childhood through technology and wanted to videotape struggle instead.

Q) So why are you doing it now?

Ans) because the phone camera freed me and I liked to keep some pictures of what they were doing to my face by storing it as data within my own phone otherwise I have no records of my existence.

Q) The online media is still special in your life?

Ans) Very special still. When I was studying new media and digital media courses and had begun surfing the world wide web I didn’t realize I would have made it so special in my life, I was just curious about technology and emerging new media.

Q) So you literally be in love with,it?

Ans) technically yes. I realize I’d rather be online consuming the world than be wasted in the same city for 6-7 years.

Q) Did the remote technology system you are accessed through lead you to be constantly online?

Ans) I realized I needed to consume news online and visuals like landscape and live webcams of natural landscape online to feel free. Other than that I recently reconnected to online chatrooms and video chatrooms.

Earlier I had very little experience of it, since I was struggling. I am still struggling but I realized I felt a great need for it now. 

Q) So the technology system you are accessed through isn’t adequate?

Ans) No. I feel a need for lived life. I have no social, professional or personal life. It’s been 7 years more of being accessed through remote technology with no physical presence of people in my life other than a few of my family members. So even though there is voice to skull talk and a highly advanced technology system with all its scientific effort worth celebrating, I miss physical human presence still, I feel my eyes need to see people and faces and places other than just hearing voices in my head and having my body and brain and senses accessed remotely. I have a love hate relationship with this system now.

Q) You enjoyed online chatrooms and online dating?

Ans) I used it for survival now and I felt that’s another scientific effort dedicated to easing lonely people.

I liked text dating online, it’s very creative for literary people and the 24.7 video chatrooms from people around the world. I felt like adding the faces and places missing in my life since I don’t get to travel.

Q) What were your experiences?

Ans) deep,personal,surprising,infinite emotions. It’s a blessing that lonely people sitting or breathing quietly in their rooms, around the world have a choice to not be so lonely any more. Or just two people sitting silently in their rooms do not need to be lonely any more. They have the choice to log on in the times they are feeling lonely,in fear or just need some person to see or talk to or even explore their curiosity about life and people in other places, then take it further or move on in their regular lives. There are various sites like omegle, chat apps, snapchat, Kik and Chatrandom.

It happened between Making Lonely Christmas and My Winter Holiday. I logged onto many chatrooms but 'Chatrandom', the free video chatting chatroom, The Christmas before My Winter Holiday was special online, where anyone can show themselves and be humiliated or be loved was the Greatest Show to log on to. People from every country Showed themselves and they loved and chatted and Showed themselves and Made the Greatest Show. 

Q) and that includes social media profiles?

Ans) Absolutely. Other than logging onto online chatrooms which is purely personal, I source live updates from social media platforms like facebook and recently snapchat where people make an effort to profile a lot of information and visuals and I like to consume them since I do not watch any television still and I feel I owe something to the visuals I consume even if they are free. So I like to give away my own data to add to the wonderful free source online world and maybe that’s how the online world runs and has something for everyone.

Q) What are the love experiences you had with the online spaces you logged onto?

Ans) I cannot share any of that, it is unfair to the people I have been with. But I can say wherever they are in the world, I wish they be happy in whatever way they like to be. And I am very thankful to people who use science to develop such online spaces. Also, since you need to know, yes, I did discover a lot of love experiences remotely too by being humbled by being marooned with my own self for 7 years now within the same room. I really felt that there’s only so much that a woman can breathe her own self with and I really like to be able to love men, even if from a distance. I feel they are simple, blessed people made by the creator, all of them. So, every time I get love online on a lonely day, I just feel like saying , Man, I love you.

Q) So, is it unfortunate for you, that you cannot live the life you can access online in the ‘real world’?

Ans) Yes, it’s a different world, you can make your own experiences and consume what you like till you want to consume it online and the ‘real’ human world is a different place. The online world is created because of all things we cannot do in real life and everything we can do online doesn’t have to be duplicated in the real world, it’s a support system, need based survival mechanism to real life, created by humans of course. But I like to make the most of whatever I can access and use it positively to survive, instead of only mulling over what I don’t get to live.

I want to know about Kashmiri People who have been kept imprisoned and Kashmiri people who have been physically harmed or destroyed.

I am not saying that my life is like imprisonment, that would be belittling the struggle of individuals imprisoned physically in physical prison cells, but I have been given more of a life of being kept within a room with nowhere to go instead of a travelling lifestyle whether in the first 20 years of my life or after.

Especially the last 6 years kept within the same room in Delhi. Of course there has been an internal I.T system that has forced itself into my brain and body and more openly in these last 6 years with more voice to skull talk than ever before which can be interpreted as both imprisonment and freedom depending on how my life is used based on forced remote access. 

Since my life has not been groomed within any newsroom either despite journalism training, I source news online. 

I do not want to consume any indian film,tv prostitutes since my life despite being accessed and used since childhood through i.t and in external ways and despite my struggle since childhood and the professional struggle which was openly looted by India is not like Indias film,tv prostitutes who are given human companionship and humans to love and live with. My internal life and the darkness and torment in it since childhood instead has been used as source material for much humiliation and mock in the Indian business or elsewhere. So, I do not want to consume the lives of these people who raped my insides and gave me no life or career despite a professional and personal struggle since childhood and in both cities of Delhi and Bombay.

Also because of the fact that I live no experience of marriage or motherhood which is also the subject of humiliation by the Indian system I do not want to consume the lives of the indian business that secured the lives of their own daughters.

Instead I want to consume the lives of those people of Kashmir who have been kept imprisoned in the darkness of rooms in prisons or elsewhere. I want to consume the details of their life, their struggle, their efforts made, their broken lives and personal experiences. 

Since my face specifically was played with through forced i.t and then by the age of 20 destroyed away through bacterial chemical adulteration continuously for the next 17 years to live with puss and scars and boils and cuts on my skin to promote indian skin and with adulterated salt chemicals again recently , I want to know more details about every person in Kashmir who has been physically harmed, damaged destroyed in any way.

I don't just want to do web searches on their past reported I want to know how they are now, in the present times through them.

I want to know all details of the internal system of technology of how i was accessed,seen,used since childhood and for 3 decades now and who all have had access to my brain,body,eyes at different stages of my life

I want to know all details of the internal system of technology of how i was accessed,seen,used since childhood and for 3 decades now and who all have had access to my brain,body,eyes at different stages of my life

So, I got used since childhood and for 3 decades now but i was never given a professional career or life to live because all of my struggle was looted from within me and other people farted,shat and pissed their careers on what were meant to be my years for a professional life.

All my life as a woman has also been abused and destroyed so i have no personal life lived instead either.

for the last 6 years i am still accessed remotely from within the delhi room i have been kept in within my own parents home, with no other life or professional care.

I want to know that since childhood, ever since i saw other peoples faces forced on my face in the real life prostitution scam of 'we will use you to act' who are the people who have had access to my bare life through technology as a girlchild and later as a woman whose life they looted, stole, destroyed and abused away. 

My life has been destroyed by india before it could begin in any professional way. Other than basic writing skills picked up since childhood i have no other technical professional training in India despite hardwork,struggle, effort and merit so i demand to know who are the people who have access to my bare internal body and brain, for 3 decades now. I want to see the faces of the people who have accessed me bare in every way. 

Other people are given careers and lives to live each day that my own breath, spirit, thought is looted at source from within the room i am caged in as an unwanted animal. I want to know who are the people who have used me bare since childhood. 

Even if they abused all of my life as a woman looting me of every dignity since childhood giving me no other life to live, no professional career, whether they later directed to thrust a penis in to rape abort me or forced semen in food to rape abort me 16 times over to display their hate towards me, i will never get the dignity that was looted off me since birth since all of my bare insides have been accessed through some technology with no care of what my lived experience has been enduring all this abuse.

I demand to know which are the systems and who are the people who have had access to me bare since childhood.

for another 6 years of my life, each year they have watched my life wasted and destroyed further while furthering their own lives and careers, another year will be destroyed away again.

Several careers and lives have already been furthered,raping mine away, while giving me no professional life other than being free source material.


I want to know which is the system that has destroyed my life since birth for 3 decades now, who are the pimps that get to watch me bare since childhood and for 3 decades now.

Indias political system whose parliament has already been stripped bare publicly forever through the Parliament attack in 2001 is now just a whore house to remarket TV soap farts apart from other piss and potty their business is to make

India's political system whose parliament has already been stripped bare publicly forever through the Parliament attack in 2001 is now just a whore house to remarket TV soap farts apart from other piss and potty their business is to make 

Indian film director pimps are so busy in getting paid to wipe the piss and potty off film family born film star eggs to create work and money and career for them that a childhood like mine that was used, abused internally through remote technology meant nothing to their blind eyes and piss brains to give any career or life to me.

    Indian film director pimps are so busy in    getting  paid to wipe the piss and potty off film family born film star eggs to create work and money and career for them that a childhood like mine that was used, abused internally through remote technology meant nothing to their blind eyes and piss brains to give any career or life to  me. 

Now film family film star eggs are broken at birth to be made into media stories for filth tabloid media to shove more work and money and publicity into the genitals of their film family film star pimp parents. It's their money and work minting Media business plan.

 Meeting film family eggs is such a bad omen and bad experience for the life or career of a struggler like me who was used and made to struggle since childhood for three decades with no realisation of a professional career because all the struggle, effort, is rerouted, redirected towards furthering the careers and businesses of film family film star eggs and their pimps and prostitutes cutting me away from any life or career and further murdering any aspiration.

Even beginning with 2008 when i was still in filth city Bombay, Indians could have given me 10 years of career of any kind, till 2018 instead they gave me nothing other than 10 years of mock, 10 years of humiliation, 10 years of being used,wasted,destroyed further and 10 more years of being used through remote access to be wasted and abused.

Even beginning with 2008 when i was still in filth city Bombay, after a struggle since childhood and being destroyed in several ways and surviving. Indians could have given me 10 years of career of any kind, till 2018, instead they gave me nothing other than 10 years of mock, 10 years of humiliation, 10 years of being used,wasted,destroyed further and 10 more years of being used through remote access to be wasted and abused while they ran career after career raping my life and aspiration.
6 out of these 10 years have been lived within a room in Delhi from where they have been wasting and destroying, using and mocking and humiliating me further to waste and destroy my life and career in every way while furthering their own.

But i was too kind to understand even then that their Indian systems, their prostitution schools and pimp colleges , their indian systems were designed to destroy me, waste me, mock and humiliate me in every way so that they loot my struggle in every way, that i am shown at my worst being the worst and they waste and destroy me from any life and career.

There is still no account of how they raped my life and career aspiration since childhood. How they used me by remote access technology to destroy me since childhood for 37 years now.

IN THESE 10 YEARS SINCE 2008 TO 2018 IN THE NAKED BROTHEL FILM,TV CITY OF BOMBAY THEY GAVE WORK AND WORK, FILM AND FILM, TV AND TV, CAREER AND CAREER TO NAKED PROSSES, COVERED PROSSES, TRAINED PROSSES, UN-TRAINED PROSSES, ADULT PROSSES, MINOR PROSSES, OLD PROSSES, OLD PROSSES RE-MARKETED, NEW PROSSES, CHILDREN OF PROSSES, PARENTS OF PROSSES, FAMILY BRED PROSSES, RICH PROSSES, POOR PROSSES, PROSSES OF FAMOUS PARENTS, PROSSES WHO  MADE THEIR PARENTS FAMOUS, SINGING PROSSES, DANCING PROSSES, FAT PROSSES, SHORT PROSSES, TALL PROSSES, EGG PROSSES


I hate you indians more than you hated me.

"I have been used through i.t and other free to use ways since childhood, Any of the Indian pimp film tv directors of INDIA could have given me any career in any stage of my life, They Did not, they watched me being destroyed"

"I have been used through i.t and other free to use ways since childhood, Any of the Indian pimp film tv directors of INDIA could have given me any career in any stage of my life, They Did not, they watched me being destroyed"


"I was in Bombay till 2012 and i am happy that i will never see the gutters of bombay again. From 2012 my life has been remotely accessed from within my room in Delhi to further waste and destroy me from life and a career "

" I am happier that i do not need to give my presence or friendship or service to any Indian whether in the gutters of Bombay or the power pimp education city Delhi after all my life has been wasted in struggle since childhood, because they will always be given some other body prostitute or some other physical body to be physically present with them in their work and life and to give a career to and make professional careers for, like they did while watching me being destroyed further. All of it has been such a bad experience.''

"It is no surprise that the pimp directors of the Bombay film tv brothel kept adding more work more career more clothes shoes underwear and flight tickets to film family born eggs because when they loot and destroy careers and struggles like mine thats where they pump looted money. But more than money it is about the career lived by looting other peoples struggle."


"I am  more thankful to the SHRAM SADHANA TRUST HOSTEL OF BOMBAY for giving me half a room to live in Bombay during my years there than for any of the indian school, college or other institute for using me as a student."

"It feels like a wretched life at 37 to be made to struggle in every way since childhood and never be given a professional career to live. It only feels all 37 years of my life in struggle were meant to be used as free source material with no realisation of my own career or life"

"Despite being used for free since childhood  and made to struggle since childhood and for 37 years now indians eventually kept my career within the 5,000 - 15,000 monthly salary bracket or used me for free. And this they have done to me who got used and exploited since childhood, who chose to live in India instead of some other country and whose parents selflessly served india in the army and medicine.''

"They are using such an advanced technology system against me for 3 decades now to suck life and breath out of me that they gave me no career or any financial independence that comes with it. '' 

Bombay film pimps never gave me a beginning to any credited work but whatever I struggled with, whatever I succeeded in, whatever I studied and wrote out, they stole every part of it and now they had access to free source material and a ready made blood life struggle they began using as free source material to cast their prostitutes and film family eggs and all of them ate, earned and partied into it. A lifetime of struggle and study with no beginning despite being accessed and abused since childhood, all copied and stolen out, with no life or returns or work or life experience whatsoever. 
They just cut open my life and struggle and stole and copied every word, effort, life experience of struggle, if they had given me work credit for all my struggle that they stole and made me part of work, I would have not just work credit but life to live.

What about the returns I was to get out of the struggle for my parents and any beginning to my own aspirations????

The Bombay film,tv brothel of India is the worst filth of India put on display, they are still living in the time of the dead past when a handful of film family eggs and their prostitutes were given freedom and hoards of monies and material lifestyle and foreign travel to be and make and when the freedom of everyone else was taken away, but now people are free, to be and show and make themselves online and in other ways that didn't exist earlier. 


Consuming Indian film,tv,ad filth business is consuming dead past where they only want to use you as a consumer and out of that they copy,loot,steal and then run their monies,banks, travel and monkey business. 

Happy to never consume any Indian film,tv,ad.

"THE FARTING LOTUS"

Presenting a quick video of FILTH INDIAS NATIONAL POLITICAL FLOWER THE FARTING LOTUS while INDIANS AND THEIR POLITICAL SYSTEM AND INDIAN POLITICIANS PIMPED BY INDIAN PIMPS ARE BUSY ESTABLISHING THEIR POLITICAL CAREERS AND FAME SHOPS BY RAPING OTHER PEOPLES ASPIRATION WHICH IS THEIR REAL BUSINESS AND SYSTEM.

THIGHS

EYES

""Looting, destroying, killing, murdering all Kashmiri people regardless of religion is Indias main business both in Politics and the film, tv brothel business''

DON'T CONSUME THIS INDIAN FILM AND TV INSTITUTE, PUNE. IT WAS THE WORST BROTHEL THAT RAN THE WORST RAPE,SHAME SHOW OVERNIGHT WITH ME IN 2010. DO NOT CONSUME ANY INDIAN FILM TV INSITUTE BROTHELS.

DON'T CONSUME THIS INDIAN FILM AND TV INSTITUTE,PUNE. IT WAS THE WORST BROTHEL THAT RAN THE WORST RAPE,SHAME SHOW OVERNIGHT WITH ME IN 2010.

DO NOT CONSUME ANY INDIAN FILM TV INSITUTE BROTHELS. 

Q) Does it feel strange to you that despite being used since Childhood in abusive ways through i.t technology and externally India ultimately gave you no career?

A) Yes, but thats my experience of the sort of filth country India is. I expected life from them, now I don't expect anything from Indians.

Q) Does it feel strange to you that despite struggling all your life since childhood and choosing to support and promote the film and tv institute of India by enrolling as a student there, you have no career in either Indian film and tv or in any other way? Instead all of their Film and Tv insitute directors were given crores of working careers to market, work with and sell film family film star careers or other Indians?

A) I expect nothing from Indians now, even if they use Pakistanis or foreigners in their brothel film and tv content business because i do not consume them anymore.

It is no surprise to me, because those Indians are directed to destroy me as well, while simultaenously looting me in every way, of a life, career, of all of my struggle. Loot, theft,rape is their main business, their 'creative' work whose high points are film family born eggs is their second business.
So, it does not surprise me, that they abused me since childhood in India but the children they give business and careers and work to are the film family born film star eggs, whose arseholes and genitals are served by them, whose piss and potty they wipe as career and work.
It's not about talent, it is never about talent, it is about who is given work, who is given a career and since the film tv brothel is a naked industry it is for all to see who they give work to, who they shove their rape talent and crores into.

Q) Instead the film and tv institute of india was used as the ground to eventually abuse your body physically

A) Yes, it is all part of the sexual humiliation directed against me since childhood. So what they did to me there at age 29  in 2010 was no surprise. I cannot expect anything 'good' for my life or career from these people. I know Indians will try and 'direct' my real life to destroy me in as many ways as they can while simultaneously greenlighting careers of as many people whose careers and businesses they can run while raping and looting me off my struggle and film family film star eggs are a big part of their business. 

THIS FILM AND TV INSTITUTE CREATED THE WORST RAPE MOCK NIGHT FOR ME OVERNIGHT IN 2010 WHEN I WAS ALONE AND KEPT PAYING THEMSELVES WORK AND MONEY TO ENJOY CAREERS AND MOCK SHOWS.

Q) So where are they exchanging their loot?

A) It works like this, When they loot and destroy the life and career of someone like me who they give no career to, they have a free struggle to use as source material, then they play in 'real' ways without professional career involvement to use everything associated with my struggle and the returns of that 'real play'  through various systems and incidents that were involved in my struggle are rerouted towards whichever male,female prostitute they want to give a career to who they then make professionally through various career opportunities. Their consumers do not know whose struggle they loot, they only know who is made professionally, sold and marketed. So the returns of all that go into their pockets. Nothing of any of my own struggle ever comes to my old parents or our family.

Q) But the film and tv institute of India led you to one job for a year?

A) Scriptwriting skill is only a part of the skills i have had to pick up after i was used and destroyed in other ways in India, my struggle is beyond that. They employed me because I insisted that they should employ me for some time because I could see better by then at age 25 how i was being strategically destroyed and wasted. They wanted somebody else from that classroom and eventually some other student from that classroom insisted that he wanted to be employed there instead of me, so it is openly assumed by all within their system that i am supposed to be cut off and avoided and not the person to be creatively applied and it will always be somebody else. Besides that, it was not content for the Indian film industry or it was not where i was going to create anything of my own struggle, it was about other people creating. 


Q) But if you ever write shouldn't it all be credited to the f.t.i.i

A) No. My writing begins in childhood from home, Delhi and then for a year in Melbourne, but like every other classroom where i learnt because i genuinely wanted to learn something there is credit towards every classroom. But without ever being employed as a writer or even a co-writer to ever write any Indian film made whether at age 22 or 25 what use is it to ever step back into the FTII. My writing is within my journals,my computer and my room.
For what they taught me, i wrote free content within the classroom like every one else, which they can use for free. But if everything i ever write starts being used as free content on the basis of one year at the FTII it will only reveal their poverty! The sex worker, whores in the scriptwriting classroom of pune who sat there with their face and flesh along with their pens, must have their own brothel and writing journeys, similarly I have my own. I have nothing to do with them in any personal way and I want nothing from my life to stolen to be added to their own individual businesses.

Once again with the bad Indian experience I was their unwanted outsider trying to make myself part of their ongoing Indian party  where they are the makers and creatives  busy making their own or shoving work into film family eggs.
Obviously it was well publicised that they can make anybody part of their Film, tv institute of India but they don't have to make that person part of their Indian film or television. 

HAIR

NAILS

EARS

WAIST/STOMACH/BELLY

HANDS

SHOULDERS

NOSE

BRAIN

FACE

DIALOGUE-GING with INDIA in the INDIAN LANGUAGE OF HATE

DO NOT READ THIS PAGE IF YOU DO NOT WANT INDIAN DIALOGUE POISON TO REACH YOUR EYES, BRAIN OR LIPS,

So, the Indian film brothel 'Bollywood'(while they must be shoving publicity cameras and foreign currency into their genitals as they monkey-dance or filth monkey direct worldwide for money) where I was since age 22 never made me part of any of their credited creative work in any capacity so I have no Indian film or television credit, instead they looted me of all of my being and struggle to further filth media publicity for their own selves and their businesses and work career.

So many things that they added to their 'characters' 'situations' filth cinema and media personas could not come from their own indian monkey brains, so they raped mine and used my own being and brain as free source material to further the filth they sell from their daddy,grand-daddy inherited film production companies and pocketed media publicity in their own name instead on filth indian media and paid news channels.

I don't have any media persona in India or any life or career in India, film,tv or anywhere else and if somebody were to destroy my online presence as well then i wouldn't exist at all.

But on my insistence, the Indian film and tv institute did allow me for a year as a student of their scriptwriting, quite a fair trade off for all the filth Indian content in terms of Indian film and television that i consumed since birth for a certain number of years that had accumulated as Indian junk in my brain to keep me nothing more than rotten. Yes of course in the Indian film brothel bollywood they pay their Indian filth makers to write and sell junk,not me of course but that’s how they poison future generations when they aren’t busy being paid to make their male female acting prostitutes flash their genitals in the name of cinema and music to reach out to their children, So I’ll give you filth dialogue for free the way your Indians looted my career struggle for free. After all it was Indians who wanted to 'direct' me to destroy my own speech and speak their Language of abusive filth.  If their Indian penis had given me some other direction, i would have probably returned them some other memory. They can use it to further their MAKE IN INDIA,HATE IN INDIA BUSINESS PLAN to loot their own Indian people.

So, today i am just giving away some filth dialogue for their Filth Hindi film brothel industry that they can continue to loot and steal, on the basis of what their filth country did with me while they looted all of my being and some filth content their I.T system forced into my brain the last few years after their Indian system had enjoyed destroying and looting me. Hate was never programmed in Me, but thank you India you taught me the word 'HATE, so i hate you more than you hated me.

So I don't use any I.T system to force myself into anybody's brain the way they broke into mine since childhood but I don’t need to do that to return them back their speech.

But since I do not consume any Indian content any more I do not know if their film brothel prostitution bollywood business ever uses or markets this Indian speech that their Indians dialogue in.

“Isko muft mein chhodenge, ise bachpan se chodda gaya hai i.t system se, iske bachpan ko bacche ka nahin samjhna, prostitute hai yeh”

“Isko gaali nahin denge, iski gaali karenge, is se maa baap chudwainge, is se behne chudvayenge”

I.T lagake iske gore chehhre pe itni kaali hubshi bhainso ka chehra lagayen hain, koi aur toh kya yeh khud bhi kabhi apne aap ko na pehchaan paaye. Yeh to bachpan se hi kiya hai ispe”.

“Artiste nahin hai yeh, artiste hum apni betiyon ko dikhayenge, ise prostitute dikhana hai”

“iska chehra alag alag i.t chehron se badalna to kya, iska chehra poora hi kharaab karde, aise motte motte phodde de deke phhod ise bacterial chemical se, ke unko phhod phhod ke poori umar yaad kare yeh ke iska chehra india mein hai”

“dekh to ise bachpan se nanga rahein hai, kharaab hote, par aise doosron ke liye nanga nahin karenge,  paise deke nanga nahin karenge, isse muft mein chhodenge”

“Isse chodd ke hatta, phir dekh kaise isse hatane ke liye bhi film star ya artiste diya jaata hai tujhe dhande ke liye”

“Ise kyun kapde dein hum, hum apni betiyon ko denge, isse aisi hi andar se nanga dekhenge, nanga karenge”

“Isse aise nanga nahin karenge, bani nahin na kisi ki dulhania ya bahurani nahin to kisi doosre ke ghar mein isse nanga karte,tab maza aata,accha mazaak banta, bechte hum. Phir issi ke ghar mein nanga karwayenge”

“Agar bahurani,dulhania banva ke nahin chudva sakte isse, toh aise hi chodd daal ise, isko nanga karke peeche lunnd ghusedke chudva isse. Aise chudva isse, poori duniya mein mazaak bechenge iska.”

“yeh nahin chahiye humein, ise sirf nanga karke lootna hai, humein doosri auratein denge, abhi isse zinda rakhenge, isse muft mein choos choos ke maarenge” 

"Isko aur kuch nahin dena, isse sirf nikaalna hai. Jahan bhi ho wahan se nikalenge. Dilli se nikalenge, Bambai se nikalenge, Kashmir bhi chali gayi to wahan se nikalenge, kisi aur desh mein hogi to wahan se nikalenge, ghar se nikalenge, kamre se nikalenge. Jahan bhi hogi yeh wahan se nikalenge."

“Isko ladki ya aurat samajh hi nahin, isse ladka ya aadmi samajh ke chhod isse, aasani se chodda jayega” Ladkiyan aur auratein hum apni banayenge.

“Isse kyun dein, paisa hum, paisa hum apni Indians ko denge,

isse nanga rakhke muft mein barbaad karenge.”

“Iska kyun career banvayen hum, isse sirf lootenge, banayenge hum apne Indian logon ka career”

“Isko muft ki rand banake anti auntiyon mein bechna hain, wahan isse chodd ke mausi chi gaand dikhayenge”

“Isse thode lena hai humein film,tv, politics mein, isse muft mein chhod ke iska sab kuch hum apni Indians ke career mein dikhayenge. Iska career nahin banana, humein isse muft istemaal karke apne Indians ke career bechne hain.”

"Isse aur kuch nahin denge hum, career nahin denge isse, isse bas moot(semen) bhej bhej ke, iske khaane mein moot mila mila ke apni lundein is se chusvayeinge. Ek baar moot nahin bhejenge isko, baar baar bhejenge, 15-16 baar moot khaane mein milvake i.t se pet saaf karenge iska."

''Iska kela kar ke rakh. Isko akela hi jaate aur marte dekh india ki sadkon pe. Koi saath nahin jaayega iske kabhi. Isko india mein kela karke maarenge."

"iske chaand jaise face ko Saand banayenge. Koi Chand nahin rahega india mein". 

"iska face to bachpan se phhod diya, iske baal katva kar isko aadmi dikha kar, iski jeans utar kar, iske picchvade me penis ghusedkar anal fuck denge indian aurate ghusdne ke liye."

"Ise ghusne thodde diya bombay, yeh khud aayi hai, isse bhagayenge yahaan se bhi"

so,this is my experience in India, instead of a career and they have done these sort of things to me in India! 

JUST A FIRST DRAFT FOR FREE USE, MORE TO ADD HERE,,,

How they destroy a person using Non-Violent Strategies Part 1

While Indians continue to nurture their own daughters into career professionals, cared for, celebrated or at least paid for women, my life experience in India is that of being exploited, misled, wasted and destroyed despite being used since childhood.

So, how is it that Indian strategies and systems loot and destroy a person’s personality.

Here are some of my experiences in India in which Several non-violent strategies are exposed.

Even though there is an internal system of technology used on me since childhood which is finally being revealed to me through which any physical part of the body, internal organs along with the brain, nervous system and breath can be targeted there are various other strategies most of them non-violent which have been used to destroy me as well. While the internal technology does have the power to be violent and maybe even kill, all of these strategies do keep a person alive but they are used to psychologically and physically destroy so that the person is never able to live as per their own personality, destiny or even effort. Death of the body isn’t the only death, a person can be killed internally in several other ways in a country like India if found inconvenient yet successful.

And  all that a person could be if they were made to live a consistent career and life, can then be easily looted to market several other personality careers and all the returns of that can be internally enjoyed by the systems that destroy.

TARGET – SKIN. Our Skin is their soft target, they want to destroy it, they want it lose its fair colour and darken and be destroyed without realizing its painful sensitivity. They want it spotted to feel like their own skin, they want us to begin living in their skin instead to lose whatever identity of appearance we are born with. They want to destroy it so that it can be branded ‘ugly’. Somehow they feel by destroying our skin they can feel better about their own skin given by the creator. They specifically targeted my skin otherwise the beginning of this write-up would not have been so skin deep.

TARGET – FACE .DESTROY FACE/POLITICS OF FACE - The face is an obvious target to be destroyed away but not until it is sufficiently played with. They played with my face using technology since childhood, they used free show stage ‘acting’ for school to trap me and then to force Indian faces on my own face leaving me in confusion and misery in my childhood and school, college years after which they started destroying my face by spotting it with bacterial infection in milk and food products. And they never stopped. Later they began destroying my face with other chemicals in salt and food products to especially humiliate me in sexual ways. They deliberately brought my ‘face’ into play by using me for free show stage in the army school and misled me to want to direct my train of thought towards my face and then destroyed it altogether so that I should never be professionally used in any face-based career and they could loot my train of thought and struggle to market and sell and make whichever Faces they now wanted. So obviously, they used my face to play with since childhood and internally but they chose their own faces to sell and market into what they call the ‘common memory’ of their audiences who their people and children should recognize and grow up with. 

TARGET – APPEARANCE. FATTEN, FAT BRANDING or put on show after fattening and not put on show when fitter. They have put me on SHOW, free show stage many times since childhood, but it’s clear they don’t want my personality to be seen or put on show when I am living some life and I am fitter and more mobile, instead they needed to put it on show as bad, when I was kept caged indoors and invested my time in study instead. So, their strategy is that I should not be Shown for looking good or aspiring to live life but to be put on show to look bad and to humiliated. I am not supposed to be ‘Made up’, I am supposed to be destroyed and that is their SHOW.

 Any professional achievement adds to a person’s personality but once you destroy them from their professional accomplishment or establishing themselves as belonging to a certain professional life to define who they are what they are expected to be left with to be negated and humiliated is their own physical self instead of the accomplishments of a career.

So, instead of creating a career professional, professional scientist or professional actress prostitute or professional musician or professional film maker or professional writer  they want all of the professionalism interrupted and destroyed away so that all you are left with is a woman’s flesh and physical appearance that can then be used to humiliate and negate you. Now, you are their FAT on display to be SHOWN instead of a career professional who they can sexually humiliate and negate because consistently targeting a person for their fine appearance is not just sexual humiliation it is obvious racism. The title they wanted prefixed to the name is not that of a profession - a professional scientist, journalist or film maker, not even published writer or artiste but of  'FAT' INDIAN. This they made me live through consistently from within the army house since they began forcing feeding me their food in innocent childhood and caging my body from any travel or movement, and the rest of the people in their racist country India followed suit.
The abuse and neglect of my body along with the faces of fat obese Indians and adults forced on my face early since childhood, using remote technology abused my own face and flesh to modify and abuse my appearance and use to market the FAT INDIAN HINDU RACE.
They need to abuse the body by branding the human body negatively as a 'size' that is different from theirs, a 'size' that will not 'fit in' with them and can be pimped to other races that will accept the 'size', while an internal technology remotely accesses the human body to expand, spread or lean in the human body.

But really, it’s only their own fear of your real worth and instead of channelizing your strength it’s their own weakness they expose that they try and target to destroy you.

Maybe it is the need of Indian races to make and market professional Fatness to humour their own Indian pot bellied bulges instead of have a woman inconvenient to them to challenge them, often standing taller than them.

TARGETING POSITIVITY, MAKING ANTI or NEGATIVE Towards any approach. I believe Positivity in believing in something to happen can cause it to happen in time. Whereas negating something can cause interruptions. To loot and steal from within your being, systems want to lead your personality towards Negativity instead of Positivity. While living in Bombay I realized that even in india, the great Mahatma Gandhi worked not on an anti-violence but a pro non-violence approach. Even while all my life has been lived out of India while it could be lived anywhere else after a certain age, certain internal systems wanted to force an ‘anti-brand’ so that my positivity towards even the existence of India could be destroyed, after all they didn’t want me to successfully use all that hard work and effort made studying their Indian curriculum in their Indian education system and paying attention to and consuming Indian content on their public service broadcaster.
It's their own business plan to make anti-American, Anti-British,Anti-Muslim,Anti-India so that they could try and puppet to negate all these bridges and Indians can go pocket opportunities in all these places for their own selves. 

 Worldwide web connectivity has made it possible to express positivity towards various places and systems while being located anywhere. So, the anti-national branders and marketeers of India forget that their own nation is beyond their national cause and is connected globally, so what anti-nationalism do they fear anymore. In these circumstances there is no need for an ANTI anything approach anymore instead it should lead to search what is POSITIVELY Possible.

ANTI MAKING and ANTI BRANDING Became a big business for countries like India where they had access to consumers who they forced will consume Indian content in every way, Indian education,Indian content for at least 20 years and who begin aspiring to be part of India but they are negative towards the consumer and do negative and bad things to the consumer so that they cut off or force the consumer to cut itself off from the system when the hate and negativity against the consumer becomes visible to the consumer. By that time, the consumer has exhausted itself in consuming India, for example but is not made part of their mainstream and all that time and effort spent in it, makes the consumer feel Anti everything they spent time in consuming and the bad experiences deliberately made part of their lives and will now be thrown into the Anti market from where they will want to become consumers of something new and all the new experiences and information will be sourced and used by the previous system or country like India who they were hooked to consume and then cut off from.

TARGET – HAPPINESS OF A FULFILLED FAMILY LIFE AND MORE PEOPLE BORN TO UNWANTED or INCONVENIENT BLOOD AND DNA – Obviously Indian systems such as Indian army and Indian i.a.s must have ensured happy fulfilled lives for their Own Indian daughters, but I don’t have such experiences, I have experiences of being played with and puppeted by force on the inside through high technology and be sexually humiliated on the outside and therefore I have looked out for alternative technology to heal me in every way, one that doesn’t suck life out of me on the inside, one that I can connect with on my own. I have the feeling and experiences of being a girlchild and woman, from whom they could loot away everything that I could ever be capable of or accomplish, especially obviously my appearance.

TARGET -PHYSICALLY HARDWORKING PERSONALITY – I have been puppeted through an Indian army family system, the Ghar pe baitho scam was enforced upon me at strategic times by the retired army colonel father in my growing up life in Delhi when I wanted to work in India with youthful effervescence. It was repeated again by Bombay systems and again by the army father at strategic career success moments in my life. All because there was already a scam system in place to use technology to use and play with me from within the confines of four walls of the house or anywhere else and all of my life being lived into my own brain and body could be looted at source and other personalities could be sold instead using the struggle within my brain and space. Yet I managed to be in two cities in India and yet I was determined to reconnect with Kashmir again obviously against the wishes of the system and family I am born to.

TARGET - NAME – The politics of NAME is after all very obvious politics and usually it is exposed to be just that, politics. The Name is given by the family and their can be various systems who feel they now own the name a person is born with and can set their own shop on it.

TARGET – SEXUAL SELF ESTEEM. The face is an obvious a part of sexual self esteem and by deliberately playing with it and eventually destroying it in various ways, they openly target sexual self esteem. Obviously other common strategies are face shaming, body shaming or using provocative vulgar descriptions while other obvious ways are bad sexual experiences designed or directed.

TARGET – SOCIAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS and to AVOID INSTEAD OF COMMUNICATING. Since I was not socially introverted I was instead socially avoided by Indian systems and I looked for professional communication methods to communicate instead which they tried to cut me off from to destroy me so that my social communication should not become my strength. I get no invitations in India and I have been given few experiences to experience Indian social lives despite being available to them in every professional aspiration since childhood. Their internal system so used to being derogatory towards me already knew they were not supposed to TAKE ME anywhere the way they took their own daughters with care to experience professional or personal journeys. They know, while being suffocated,caged indoors to be used internally through the high technology system I will eventually SHOW UP on my own out of the desperation of being abandoned

TARGET – PERSONALITY.  If they get to know that your personality can bring you to be in public spaces on your own merit they will try to mislead people about your personality and being. They have enough Indian money to market fake personalities to mislead their own people. When they want to negate and destroy you even the smallest fault in you or any of your actions will be magnified to mock, hate or humiliate but for those they want to promote and market genuinely as their own people even the greatest faults are ignored and never publicly marketed.

TARGET – SELF WORTH  - They want to waste you away and show that you are not good enough despite your aspiration, hard work and effort. Your wasting away in any way is their success. They want your day wasted away instead of being lived. They will give you misleading tips, pull time away from you from making it used as judiciously as you are capable of, they will make you compete in such a way that they will mislead u and put you on show when you are wasted and then you will be ‘not good enough’ or ‘could not do it’ for them. They want you to fall instead of rising. They want you fallen so that they can run over you and loot you over your own effort and aspiration. They want your actions to be your mistakes and not your success. Your success is not falling prey to believing them.

TARGET SELF-ESTEEM -NEGATE – Constantly negate and surround by negativity so that you begin negating the potential of your own existence. They want you to succumb to self negation so that you eventually destroy your own self and they have no blood on their hands. They can use the people around you, your own people, to negate them to negate you, the way in the army family home I have been brought up hearing the way my own kashmiri mother is supposed to be negated and humiliated in every way each day by the retired Indian army colonel father. Wherever there is the possibility of a success professionally or personally they are conditioned to negate at the onset so that all possibility of a success is destroyed at source.

TARGET – CLOTHES. POLITICS OF CLOTHING – You look good in anything you wear or clothes look good on you, doesn’t mean you should be made to wear rags or force to be dressed down despite struggling to make a living. You deserve your right to wear as per your wish and feeling. I have been openly humiliated by the Indian system while they were using me as a free show stage puppet mostly by giving me humiliating costumes to humiliate me that was an obvious way to humiliate me, especially after they began targeting and destroying my face but never allowing me the financial worth and independence I deserve they ensured I will not be given the income to nurture and care for my own self the way I deserved.

TARGET CULTURE -LANGUAGE  - Instead of passing on and preserving the knowledge of Urdu and Kashmiri  that the parents know I was brought up only in Hindi and English in Delhi to strategically make me into a non kashmiri citizen whose life and personality could then be copied out by non Kashmiri Hindi speaking Indians. Not just this, the Indian theatre system where I was directed to be used as a free puppet openly wanted to corrupt and destroy my speech with their abusive Hindi system in a very obvious way to humiliate me. Their Bombay system followed suit. So, they wanted to target good speech and destroy it by their own bad influence.

TARGET – SANITY - MADDEN – A very common strategy to label as ‘MAD’ so that all of your effort made in any constructive madness or affected by consuming news of injustice and other bad news that affects your sanity can be easily looted and credited to some other person, to not make you part of any professional or other space that is created  using your own vision or effort. Instead by ‘maddening’ you out of the way, you can be cast aside and all of your own being can be looted to market someone else who will not be labeled ‘mad’ as you. You are labeled ‘mad’, so somebody else will be given the work to do and life to life. In order to realize this strategy, Situations are created to provoke and display ‘madness’ instead of positively channelizing your existence. Adding provocative additives in milk products especially can be used to destroy ‘mood’ or ‘behaviour’. Or by using people around you to deliberately provoke you, by misleading them about you, feeding them lies or half truths about you, they can provoke ‘mad’ responses. Their strategy is to provoke to cause ill behavior, conflict and clashes. Once a female body has been labelled 'mad' abusers enter and abuse the brain and body to provoke mad 'acts' and abuse the life and body maddened to be abused. I had been studying mental conditions such as depression in my media courses very early but later in Delhi the family placed me in a mental health ward for 15 days to label me mentally unfit on paper. In the Indian system it seems it is not normal to get mad with anger on seeing injustice whereas it is normal to tune into hindi tv soaps or trashy Indian entertainment film filth.

TARGET INTELLECTUAL CAPABALITY

If the Indian system were never going to use me professionally there would have been no need to use me since childhood on the Indian army school stage for free show especially during the time and years meant for a good formative education to direct life towards an established profession. But my time was used and exhausted by the army school instead of single minded dedication to study, despite that I did not fail or drop out of study and struggled to get academic results and spend my time in various academic competitive exams alongside, the career returns of which never came to my own life despite hardwork and struggle.

 Besides, I was conditioned since birth to consume nothing other than Indian media through its film,television,advertising so a lot of that junk left its memory in my brain to be dealt with later in the film school in india.

So, clearly despite sacrificing simple joys of life, my intellectual capability was targeted since primary school so that I live a life and career much lesser than my intellectual potential.

 The college experience did try to intellectually enhance my life experience but at the cost of my professional career aspirations which were never realized the right way.

I do not believe life is about locking yourself in a room reading books to display academic scholarship when a world burns around you, because I do not believe in such intellectual vanity.

TARGET – YOUR DESTINY – Some things are meant to happen in your life because your life was chosen in some way for it, but they don’t want you to realize that destiny. Instead, they want to destroy you, so that they can live your destiny instead. Whether in Delhi or Bombay, they tried to destroy me from my destiny and wanted to realize their own careers and life experiences on it. Some events happen in our life singularly and make our destiny whether someone directs them or they happen on their own. But when somebody is part of your life in any way then your destiny also affects and becomes their destiny. So, there should be no need to destroy someone to live off their destiny.

...to be continued