MY WINTER HOLIDAY
Questions & Answers
Q) So you haven’t stepped out of your room for more than 3 weeks now?
Q) So you haven’t stepped out of your room for more than 3 weeks now?
Ans) Yes, it’s because of consuming some disturbing news from Kashmir and maybe the recently discovered feeling of snowed-in winter in me. So my life lives within the connected computer box.
Q) So what did you do with that time?
Ans) I tried to read but couldn’t, I looked over my notes and video tapes and cut some visuals up from my phone camera footage when I experienced snowfall for the first time a few months back.
Q) You don’t record your own self much?
Ans) I wanted to as a child and teenager, when I was ignorantly discovering multiple faces on my face and my sensitive skin that was still soft and fresh but I was strictly given no access to a camera so 20 years passed away and when I was directed away from aspiring for tv broadcasting at age 20 and my skin was being destroyed away while multiple faces were still being forced on my face and I finally acquired a consumer video camera I just did not want to videotape my wasted face which has experienced so many faces on it since childhood through technology and wanted to videotape struggle instead.
Q) So why are you doing it now?
Ans) because the phone camera freed me and I liked to keep some pictures of what they were doing to my face by storing it as data within my own phone otherwise I have no records of my existence.
Q) The online media is still special in your life?
Ans) Very special still. When I was studying new media and digital media courses and had begun surfing the world wide web I didn’t realize I would have made it so special in my life, I was just curious about technology and emerging new media.
Q) So you literally be in love with,it?
Ans) technically yes. I realize I’d rather be online consuming the world than be wasted in the same city for 6-7 years.
Q) Did the remote technology system you are accessed through lead you to be constantly online?
Ans) I realized I needed to consume news online and visuals like landscape and live webcams of natural landscape online to feel free. Other than that I recently reconnected to online chatrooms and video chatrooms.
Earlier I had very little experience of it, since I was struggling. I am still struggling but I realized I felt a great need for it now.
Q) So the technology system you are accessed through isn’t adequate?
Ans) No. I feel a need for lived life. I have no social, professional or personal life. It’s been 7 years more of being accessed through remote technology with no physical presence of people in my life other than a few of my family members. So even though there is voice to skull talk and a highly advanced technology system with all its scientific effort worth celebrating, I miss physical human presence still, I feel my eyes need to see people and faces and places other than just hearing voices in my head and having my body and brain and senses accessed remotely. I have a love hate relationship with this system now.
Q) You enjoyed online chatrooms and online dating?
Ans) I used it for survival now and I felt that’s another scientific effort dedicated to easing lonely people.
I liked text dating online, it’s very creative for literary people and the 24.7 video chatrooms from people around the world. I felt like adding the faces and places missing in my life since I don’t get to travel.
Q) What were your experiences?
Ans) deep,personal,surprising,infinite emotions. It’s a blessing that lonely people sitting or breathing quietly in their rooms, around the world have a choice to not be so lonely any more. Or just two people sitting silently in their rooms do not need to be lonely any more. They have the choice to log on in the times they are feeling lonely,in fear or just need some person to see or talk to or even explore their curiosity about life and people in other places, then take it further or move on in their regular lives. There are various sites like omegle, chat apps, snapchat, Kik and Chatrandom.
It happened between Making Lonely Christmas and My Winter Holiday. I logged onto many chatrooms but 'Chatrandom', the free video chatting chatroom, The Christmas before My Winter Holiday was special online, where anyone can show themselves and be humiliated or be loved was the Greatest Show to log on to. People from every country Showed themselves and they loved and chatted and Showed themselves and Made the Greatest Show.
It happened between Making Lonely Christmas and My Winter Holiday. I logged onto many chatrooms but 'Chatrandom', the free video chatting chatroom, The Christmas before My Winter Holiday was special online, where anyone can show themselves and be humiliated or be loved was the Greatest Show to log on to. People from every country Showed themselves and they loved and chatted and Showed themselves and Made the Greatest Show.
Q) and that includes social media profiles?
Ans) Absolutely. Other than logging onto online chatrooms which is purely personal, I source live updates from social media platforms like facebook and recently snapchat where people make an effort to profile a lot of information and visuals and I like to consume them since I do not watch any television still and I feel I owe something to the visuals I consume even if they are free. So I like to give away my own data to add to the wonderful free source online world and maybe that’s how the online world runs and has something for everyone.
Q) What are the love experiences you had with the online spaces you logged onto?
Ans) I cannot share any of that, it is unfair to the people I have been with. But I can say wherever they are in the world, I wish they be happy in whatever way they like to be. And I am very thankful to people who use science to develop such online spaces. Also, since you need to know, yes, I did discover a lot of love experiences remotely too by being humbled by being marooned with my own self for 7 years now within the same room. I really felt that there’s only so much that a woman can breathe her own self with and I really like to be able to love men, even if from a distance. I feel they are simple, blessed people made by the creator, all of them. So, every time I get love online on a lonely day, I just feel like saying , Man, I love you.
Q) So, is it unfortunate for you, that you cannot live the life you can access online in the ‘real world’?
Ans) Yes, it’s a different world, you can make your own experiences and consume what you like till you want to consume it online and the ‘real’ human world is a different place. The online world is created because of all things we cannot do in real life and everything we can do online doesn’t have to be duplicated in the real world, it’s a support system, need based survival mechanism to real life, created by humans of course. But I like to make the most of whatever I can access and use it positively to survive, instead of only mulling over what I don’t get to live.
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