Q) Why is it that you have felt tormented since childhood?
Ans) Because i knew something was happening to me, facial twitches, my face turning strange and showing strange appearances but i couldn't make sense of it, i knew i was being forced to grow up in a control system and couldn't choose people i wanted to see or know. Because i was being severely mocked and humiliated by all the family members within the house since childhood who now seem ignorant to me about the various ways in which my childhood and life was being played with, especially through remote technology.
Q) What was affecting you?
Consuming Indian content and home. As early as i remember At home i was led towards the television so i remember consuming indian television as far back in childhood as i remember, i was led towards retro black and white and other 60s and 70s hindi film. I was directed since birth to become a consumer of India, through Indian tv and film. There was a lot of Indian noise in my childhood brain therefore and i was trying to deal with it. Then there was Indian advertising. There was a lot of sexual content in all of Indian advertising, they were hard selling contraceptives and condoms and aids and i made a note of all of it since very early like age 6 or 7. Indian film content obviously all of it was based on selling bad sexual content, its music and visuals loud enough marketed through all their media. I was being directed towards watching retro Indian content but i gave up watching indian television altogether even before the cable boom happened in India so my eyes never consumed any Indian cable content ever but the damage was already done. My life experiences individually made me realise that you become what you consume, it affects how you see and what you see, it affects the colours your eyes look out for and the visuals your eyes relate to, nobody teaches these things and till then the damage was done.
Since I was strictly being forced to consume all of the school curriculum, never miss or skip a class or ever slip in my grades, i stopped consuming Indian television and tuned into radio instead for music.
Besides, all through my school years I was being used for all kinds of on-stage activity. Obviously then I didn't know that all of my face, brain and possibly body was being used and played with through remote technology.
The family i was growing up in had their own frustrations and a lot of routine venting but there was exposure to art and english literature through my elder sisters and their lifestyles and of course film and television. But i used to follow the news and sensed there was some discomfort in the world, both within and outside.
Q) After being part of the Indian audience in childhood what does the Indian viewership and consumption seem to you as a dedicated media student because they never let you be a career practitioner yet?
A) Obviously i don't consume any Indian film and tv content any more so i am not party to their ongoing party and celebration of India. But i do understand that India has celebrated all the media that finally found entry in India even if belated, The Indian audiences, largely rural are still driven by the advertisement driven Television where all of Indian medias money is invested. but i feel Indians are still trying to deal with their Appearances and the 200 years of colonial humiliation. They have been hardened by watching themselves and their faces on their Indian television and hearing themselves 'talk' into the television instead of their hot and humid drawing rooms. Their genitals have been hardened consuming their own Indian skin and Indian faces like never before and since they are a textbook example of 'amusing themselves till death', they do not realise what humour they sell anymore, their new found business of selling Laughter to their inner miseries and darkness is so desperate that they are never directed what to laugh at as long as they can exercise their throat in vocal laughter, so other than their own appearances their market laughs at things like child abuse, political manipulation, sexual exploitation and rape amongst other issues. I do not consume them.
Q) But when you were consuming Indian content what all did you consume?
Ans) During my school years, I consumed public broadcasting television in india, radio, advertising, hindi films, pakistani plays and dramas, a few american films. I was a full time consumer for the first 15 years of my life, after that i switched off the indian television and have never consumed any Indian cable tv content other than occasional news surfing. During my college years, when i studied journalism my consumption changed, i was consuming print news full time and by now the internet was available so a lot of my consumption moved towards the world wide web. During the college years studying journalism i got to consume world cinema as well which i had never consumed before which included French films and classic indian regional cinema. So,every other medium existed in my consumption other than television.
When the college sent me on an exchange programme to Melbourne I got to consume their broadcasting content that is their tv,radio media as well as the cinema they directed me towards which included american films too but by that time I wanted to read more books as i had been directed towards in my journalism study.
On returning to India to work and at the time spent at the Film and TV institute of India which includes the job i was enrolled in for a year through them I was a full time consumer of classic world cinema from all over the world inclusive of India of course, hindi films, contemporary world cinema and many more books were added to my consumption than ever before and i was also a consumer of documentaries. I was a full time consumer of the world wide web and did not consume any television or advertising. So, i consciously changed my consumption pattern.
Q) Do you have any regret about not consuming indian television?
Ans) No. My brain is relieved. It has no memory of what india sold on their television after their doordarshan because all of their commercial content is nothing but commercialised doordarshan. So I have no memory of filth indian advertising or tv tabloid marketing of film tv prostitutes ot yelling, screaming news anchors selling lies or their national entertainment of bad content tv serials!
I am happy i do not consume any indian content any more after my life has been wasted and destroyed with no life or career.
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