QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS - UPLOADING MY WINTER HOLIDAY

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS - UPLOADING MY WINTER HOLIDAY

Q) You just uploaded 5 parts of MY WINTER HOLIDAY, what made you upload so many personal self shot clips??

Ans) I am still a homeless person in my brain, the way i was brought up and i need some virtual presence of a snow clad home inside and outside that I can virtually live and breathe in, I have no such experience in life, this is just a 3 day experience in my life in India, first time ever. It happened because of the snow photos and snow clips i consumed on Snapchat and on online profiles of Kashmir and since all of this was free content I wanted to create free content and return it back to the internet. Now its a place like my virtual and computer spaces I can live in and call HOME or ROOM.

Q) But the place where you have enjoyed My Winter Holiday is actually a palace made into a hotel in Chail, do you feel it is right for you upload hotel footage?

Ans) People enter hotels and shoot footage and upload it for free on the internet, it does good for people, for the Hotel promotion and then other people can stumble upon it and consume it. It is all self shot footage and I have just placed free music available on the internet. 

Q) Your self shot clips, is this supposed to be ACTING?

Ans) Which of this is acting, I lived 3 days in a beautiful palace which is now a hotel, I experience snowfall for the first time, wake up to a snow clad scene that i see with my eyes for the first time, wearing the same clothes I slept off in and videograph it on my own with my own hand and then put it together with good music, nobody directs me, nobody acts with me in these shots, nobody obviously pays me anything, ever which of this is ACTING???

The rape of my life since childhood was a scam called 'ACTING'. No acting work was ever given to me, especially in India other than some derogatory free show stage parts to scar and humiliate me for life, but there is a rape system that exists since childhood which is run through remote control technology that rapes me off my own face and forces in whichever face they want on my face, does whatever they want to my brain and body and that scam has been raping and 'playing' with me all my life of misery even till I am 37 now. That scam is perhaps their 'acting' abusing my face,brain,body. As it is the systems of Delhi and Bombay decided they will never given me any professional qualification that will be any title in my Life, so despite my struggle in a personal and every other way, no Indian system of Delhi and Bombay ever regarded me as an actor or called me an actor, they just raped me, the remote control system kept raping me, they destroyed my face and skin and none of that is 'acting'. Those 'actor' names and 'actor/ titles were reserved by India for their own Indian faeces, Indian males and Indian females whereas all of my life and internal struggle and choices were looted,copied, stolen by these systems openly without ever giving me life, career or even a loving human touch,

Q) Today is a day of Love in some cultures, you have obviously not experienced any such thing?

Ans) There is no love yet in my life, other than the care given by my parents and they keep showing how much they fight with each other every day perhaps as they are programmed to do and I live with that sort of Love. 

My years in Delhi as a child were completely loveless and no human being ever gave me any love in Delhi other than being molested and getting my breast grabbed as male 'human touch' on my body in the secure civil government area. I was a consumer of film,television,radio,news instead. Growing up in India with Indians has been such a horrid experience in my life that Indians despite exploiting me since childhood in their 'education' system and watching me destroyed in front of their film,tv brothel city of Bombay did not even give me any caring human touch.

In Bombay, Pune etc there was just a crowd and sea of people with no loving human touch, and eventually I was stripped bare of my jeans to be fucked and kissed and an erect penis was directed to be thrust into my arsehole to ejaculate to then abort me and spread my legs and bare my vagina to local Indian doctors of Bombay. In the same year 2010 I was again kissed and fucked by another stranger who was directed to never know me or see me again. Then I was asked to live in Delhi where street food adulterated with Indian?? semen was sent to me and I was aborted many times over through the remote control remote access system. And all through these years a remote control remote access technology system abuses my face to force whichever face they want on my face, do whatever they want to my brain and body and I have given away all the love in my vagina, heart and brain to them because I was given no other life in India. But It's by keeping me blind, I cannot see those people as they speak into my skull and do things with my nerves or body but i can hear their voice or any voice they want thrown into my skull, so its a virtual experience and not anything real in my life. Instead  I give and take love online on free platforms such as chatrooms, online profiles, text and video chat, Then i cut up my body into photos and videos on my mobile phone which is obviously tapped into and with that i have some memory of what my own self is because there is no human being to love me or live with me and obviously nobody in Delhi or Bombay ever cared to make any photos or videos of me. So, since 2018 all parts of my body, my face, breasts,vagina details are available bare into photos and videos and anybody who gets them can 'PLAY" with them the way they want. 

And obviously all my life, I got  love from pillows, quilts, blankets, wood, staircases that don't hurt or abuse or humiliate me, they can't even be directed to 'ejaculate' anything into me.

Q) So, is all of that a part of living MY WINTER HOLIDAY for three days?

Ans) MY WINTER HOLIDAY is very special because I lived these 3 days because of my parents and we travelled here together and they made me see snowfall for the first time and I shot some footage with them, whereas my own self shot clips are just the things I kept doing with myself and the spaces around me, but even though I might be with my parents, all the people I consumed, c

Q) You just uploaded 5 parts of MY WINTER HOLIDAY, what made you upload so many personal self shot clips??

Ans) I am still a homeless person in my brain, the way i was brought up and i need some virtual presence of a snow clad home inside and outside that I can virtually live and breathe in, I have no such experience in life, this is just a 3 day experience in my life in India, first time ever. It happened because of the snow photos and snow clips i consumed on Snapchat and on online profiles of Kashmir and since all of this was free content I wanted to create free content and return it back to the internet. Now its a place like my virtual and computer spaces I can live in and call HOME or ROOM.

Q) But the place where you have enjoyed My Winter Holiday is actually a palace made into a hotel in Chail, do you feel it is right for you upload hotel footage?

Ans) People enter hotels and shoot footage and upload it for free on the internet, it does good for people, for the Hotel promotion and then other people can stumble upon it and consume it. It is all self shot footage and I have just placed free music available on the internet. 

Q) Your self shot clips, is this supposed to be ACTING?

Ans) Which of this is acting, I lived 3 days in a beautiful palace which is now a hotel, I experience snowfall for the first time, wake up to a snow clad scene that i see with my eyes for the first time, wearing the same clothes I slept off in and videograph it on my own with my own hand and then put it together with good music, nobody directs me, nobody acts with me in these shots, nobody obviously pays me anything, ever which of this is ACTING???

The rape of my life since childhood was a scam called 'ACTING'. No acting work was ever given to me, especially in India other than some derogatory free show stage parts to scar and humiliate me for life, but there is a rape system that exists since childhood which is run through remote control technology that rapes me off my own face and forces in whichever face they want on my face, does whatever they want to my brain and body and that scam has been raping and 'playing' with me all my life of misery even till I am 37 now. That scam is perhaps their 'acting' abusing my face,brain,body. As it is the systems of Delhi and Bombay decided they will never given me any professional qualification that will be any title in my Life, so despite my struggle in a personal and every other way, no Indian system of Delhi and Bombay ever regarded me as an actor or called me an actor, they just raped me, the remote control system kept raping me, they destroyed my face and skin and none of that is 'acting'. Those 'actor' names and 'actor/ titles were reserved by India for their own Indian faeces, Indian males and Indian females whereas all of my life and internal struggle and choices were looted,copied, stolen by these systems openly without ever giving me life, career or even a loving human touch,

Q) Today is a day of Love in some cultures, you have obviously not experienced any such thing?

Ans) There is no love yet in my life, other than the care given by my parents and they keep showing how much they fight with each other every day perhaps as they are programmed to do and I live with that sort of Love. 

My years in Delhi as a child were completely loveless and no human being ever gave me any love in Delhi other than being molested and getting my breast grabbed as male 'human touch' on my body in the secure civil government area. I was a consumer of film,television,radio,news instead. Growing up in India with Indians has been such a horrid experience in my life that Indians despite exploiting me since childhood in their 'education' system and watching me destroyed in front of their film,tv brothel city of Bombay did not even give me any caring human touch.

In Bombay, Pune etc there was just a crowd and sea of people with no loving human touch, and eventually I was stripped bare of my jeans to be fucked and kissed and an erect penis was directed to be thrust into my arsehole to ejaculate to then abort me and spread my legs and bare my vagina to local Indian doctors of Bombay. In the same year 2010 I was again kissed and fucked by another stranger who was directed to never know me or see me again. Then I was asked to live in Delhi where street food adulterated with Indian?? semen was sent to me and I was aborted many times over through the remote control remote access system. And all through these years a remote control remote access technology system abuses my face to force whichever face they want on my face, do whatever they want to my brain and body and I have given away all the love in my vagina, heart and brain to them because I was given no other life in India. But It's by keeping me blind, I cannot see those people as they speak into my skull and do things with my nerves or body but i can hear their voice or any voice they want thrown into my skull, so its a virtual experience and not anything real in my life. Instead  I give and take love online on free platforms such as chatrooms, online profiles, text and video chat, Then i cut up my body into photos and videos on my mobile phone which is obviously tapped into and with that i have some memory of what my own self is because there is no human being to love me or live with me and obviously nobody in Delhi or Bombay ever cared to make any photos or videos of me. So, since 2018 all parts of my body, my face, breasts,vagina details are available bare into photos and videos and anybody who gets them can 'PLAY" with them the way they want. 

And obviously all my life, I got  love from pillows, quilts, blankets, wood, staircases that don't hurt or abuse or humiliate me, they can't even be directed to 'ejaculate' anything into me.

ommunicated with and loved online and their visuals remain in my brain, thought and feeling so wherever I went I took that experience along with me.

Q)  Once again, it is all western classical music you placed here?

Ans) Yes, I found a piano in the hotel and I always wanted to know what it feels like to play a piano and I am an easy consumer of western classical music because there is no television noise consumption in my brain and a lot of space for music to breathe into my brain, but this isn't enough for me, its from the past, I want some music to also talk to me in the present. So i discovered famous popular ringtones which are freely available on the web and make for great short duration music. And I like discovering these unheard ringtones and well known music as I hear them while cutting up and putting together my self shot clips. So, like i discovered 'Scenes from a Childhood' by Robert Schumann, I put together my sleepy in the snow sequence with Tchaikovsky's Sleeping Beauty.  And it heals me, because all these scenes do not exist in my childhood, some other experiences and scenes exist in my childhood and all these scenes could have existed in my childhood but they don't. 

Q) So, you once again have no real experience of love in your life on this day, other than the remote control remote technology system and free online spaces?

Ans) No. I am fortunate to have this, life could even be worse. So, I always live with whatever I have. But I wish love to all people, that they get loved by their own people, that they have enough people of their own to hold and touch and care for their bodies and even brains and that nobody harms or hurts or abuses them especially in physical ways.

By the way, I wish to cut and upload one more part of MY WINTER HOLIDAY that still remains on my computer.

My Winter Holiday

My Winter Holiday Part 2 (in 4 K) Snowing from smriti vij on Vimeo.

My Winter Holiday Part 5 from smriti vij on Vimeo.

Making, My Winter Holiday

New Year Wishes, Questions and Answers - Uploading the Making of Lonely Christmas

Questions and Answers - New Year Wishes  and Uploading - Making Lonely Christmas 


 Q) Is there any New Year celebration plan for you?

 Ans) No. There has never been any experience of celebrating New Year parties in my life,nobody talks to me in India and I don't get invited anywhere and I have been brought up kept at home with my parents. As a child I was directed to consume Indian broadcasting on Television but since I do not consume any Indian content anymore I am free from any such consumption.

Q) But you have lived away from your parents for a few years, not even then?

Ans) In Bombay, I liked watching the streets lit up and yes I did walk into places with crowds and music blaring, alone as always but those are the things I could never do in Delhi because I wasn't allowed to be out anywhere. 

Q) So, what do you plan to do tonight?

Ans) Listen to music online from radio stations of Lahore,Karachi,London or anywhere else in the world and consume visuals from around the world on snapchat or www.skylinewebcams.com or www.earthcam.com and maybe make and keep photos on my phone.

Q) So, what has kept you busy over the new year weekend?

Ans) The remote access technology tangled and messed and jumbled up all my long hair once again while I was cutting uploads of Lonely Christmas and its been such a nightmare once again so a lot of effort has to once again be spent on rescuing my hair. I do not wish to cut it right now so I hope with fingers crossed and fingers working through my hair to rescue it. But I made up some photos sticking things like flowers and jewels in my hair which stay tucked into the mess otherwise they would slip off.

Q) You had only uploaded a minute or so of Lonely Christmas as a public upload or personal footage, how did you end up sharing so many 3 minute clips?

Ans) I just thought this footage is special for me because I was once again travelling alone to Kashmir and this time with the experience of reading the Holy Quran and Holy Bible so I wanted to give out more of this footage and wanted to place all kinds of music on it and the music search that I started in the 1 minute upload continued and I ended up making 6 clips of 3 minute each and sharing a lot of personal footage, so all of this has been edited and uploaded after the 1 minute upload :)

Q) So, you found more popular songs which obviously belong to other people.

Ans) I am discovering them for the first time, like the one by John Lennon and Yoko Ono about Christmas and New Year

Q) And you ended up putting a lot of personal footage over the precious gem that Last Christmas is?

Ans) Yes, I have very little video footage of myself in life so just wanted to share a little. 

Q) And there are no bollywood influences in any of these personal grabs, where you wandered in?

Ans) No. I have now stopped consuming any content from bollywood and I had already stopped consuming Indian television so there are no references or influences from anywhere. So, I am not part of any professional work in any film,ad,tv etc and I have no such experience of being part of any films or videos, I have only been able to know and see that the people who made the work I consumed as a child on Indian film,tv exist and I have picked up some writing tips in a classroom. Bollywood is a bad, vulgar nightmare in my brain which I wish never existed, as bad as the experience of the army school of delhi. I wish both these things like the army school and consuming bollywood never existed in my life. I have no introduction to any camera. But I do consume whatever content I can consume online from Kashmir and from the world online.


Q) But this is all of course personal, consumer footage, you don't have any professional career or professional camera.


Ans) Yes, its all personal. I am not part of any professional life anywhere and don't even know what a professional camera is and have never experienced a professional camera. So, yes, I do miss what these shots would look like shot with a better camera.

Q) Did you feel alone travelling to Srinagar and Gulmarg alone?

Ans) I did when I boarded the flight but allah bless the people of Kashmir they never let me feel I was alone. Also, the remote access technology system was with me. and it's a different experience living with it from within a room and being accessed remotely travelling all alone. They were with me in my most lonely moments.

Q) So, you did realise the worth of it, that it isn't all bad. the science and technology accessing you?

Ans) Yes, I did. 


Q) You spent a lot of time Last Christmas and New Year surfing and chatting online last year?

Ans) Yes I logged onto all kinds of web chats and apps and chatted with people like never before, text chatted, snapped,videoed and gave out visuals of myself,face and every part of my body like never before.

Q) Then why not this year?

Ans) Consuming sad news from Kashmir this year online has made me very sad and I don't feel like chatting online today. Personally too, my own life is still stationary within a room for the last 6 years and other than a few 3-4 day trips I haven't lived anywhere else. I have been kept connected through the remote technology system like never before and of course through the internet and computer and phone.

Q) So what are your wishes for the year for everyone and for yourself?

Ans) I hope people are sensitive about people who have suffered death,pain,loss and I hope no such things are created in peoples lives through wars or conflicts and I hope people are able to be happy and peaceful but not by deliberately destroying anybody. And I have hope for my own self that I will get to eventually live some life and work. The conniving systems that tricked my life since birth to ensure i live no life or work of my own and  get destroyed and that i remain an isolated singleton whose misery can be watched internally like a 'bare' show and be used through remote access technology should either end now or face me for whatever they made me suffer since childhood. My life as a girlchild and woman has been destroyed strategically in every way.

LONELY CHRISTMAS VIDEO PAGE - YOUTUBE, VIMEO

    LONELY CHRISTMAS On Youtube

LONELY CHRISTMAS On Vimeo

Lonely Christmas in Gulmarg,Kashmir 2016 from smriti vij on Vimeo.

Lonely travel in Kashmir 2016 Making Lonely Christmas part1 from smriti vij on Vimeo.

Lonely travel in Kashmir 2016, Making Lonely Christmas part 2 from smriti vij on Vimeo.

Lonely Travel in Kashmir 2016 Making Lonely Christmas Part 3, The Church from smriti vij on Vimeo.

Lonely Travel in Kashmir 2016 Making Lonely Christmas Part 4, The Christmas Tree from smriti vij on Vimeo.

Lonely Travel in Kashmir 2016 Making Lonely Christmas Part 5, Christmas Eve from smriti vij on Vimeo.


Lonely Travel in Kashmir 2016 Making Lonely Christmas Part 6, Popular music for Christmas from smriti vij on Vimeo.

Lonely Christmas Stills

                              

Making Lonely Christmas, Gulmarg, Kashmir 2016

Lonely Christmas in Gulmarg,Kashmir 2016 from smriti vij on Vimeo.



Lonely travel in Kashmir 2016 Making Lonely Christmas part1 from smriti vij on Vimeo.



Lonely travel in Kashmir 2016, Making Lonely Christmas part 2 from smriti vij on Vimeo.

Lonely Travel in Kashmir 2016 Making Lonely Christmas Part 3, The Church from smriti vij on Vimeo.

Lonely Travel in Kashmir 2016 Making Lonely Christmas Part 4, The Christmas Tree from smriti vij on Vimeo.

Lonely Travel in Kashmir 2016 Making Lonely Christmas Part 5, Christmas Eve from smriti vij on Vimeo.

Lonely Travel in Kashmir 2016 Making Lonely Christmas Part 6, Popular music for Christmas from smriti vij on Vimeo.

Making Lonely Christmas - Christmas in Gulmarg, Kashmir 2016

Q) You just released some video clips from way back in 2016?

Ans) Yes, i was surfing some content on the web and feeling very lonely in December 2016, so i booked a flight and went to Gulmarg in Kashmir alone on Christmas Day in 2016. I saw a few videos by Pakistani Personality Taher Shah for the first time, heavily promoted on Indian media ndtv online and wanted to locate a location like that and took a flight to Srinagar the next day, alone as always.

Now, I wish Gulmarg organises a music concert by Pakistani artistes and Taher Shah along with Atif Aslam,Farhan Saeed, Sajjad Ali, Shuja Haider,Junoon band, also remembering the music of Junaid Jamshed and whoever from Pakistan wants to play their popular music there should bring their music which is anyway available on the web and play it in Gulmarg. It will be a dream to watch it online.

                             

                                                                                                        

Q) What made you decorate a tree right there ?

Ans) This is something that used to run in my mind when i was a child growing up in Delhi and was very little and the festive Christmas time used to really inspire me and i used to look forward to it, even though we didn't really celebrate it. Sometimes we did. My mother used to tell me how, when they were growing up in Kashmir all festivals were celebrated and Christmas was one of them. And then, she used to show us these papier mache decorations made in Kashmir that i liked to collect.

Q) Do you like celebrating festivals?

Ans) When we were children, festivals would be celebrated within the home, Any festival meant we were supposed to be at home with the parents and that's about all. Ever since I had stepped away from home, there haven't been any festivals in my life.

Other than watching my mother enjoy her hindu festivals inside the home, no Indian hindu has ever celebrated any of their Indian Hindu festivals with me, I have never been invited either by any Indian Hindus to celebrate any of their festivals.

Q) Not even in Melbourne or Bombay?

Ans) In Melbourne, yes, I remember Christmas I was backpacking on my own for the first time ever and stopped somewhere on Christmas day, but the season was different, obviously, so for the first time I experienced warmth during Christmas time. In Bombay, I have no experience of any kind of celebration, no festival or any other. But sounds and happenings of the city did reach me. So, overall, there hasn't been any festive celebration in my life.

Q) Not even Film festivals?

Ans) I have attended very little, local film festivals in Delhi and Bombay. But there has been no direction in my life to lead me towards any International film festivals.

Q) But Indians frequent quite a lot of International film festivals?

Ans) That's their life, I am not them. Indians enjoy their own party internationally. Indians never gave me the professional lives they live, not just that they didn't even give me any clothes to wear. I have no such experience of any International film festivals.

Q) But Bollywood people of Bombay  in India are also now specifically flown around international film festival markets other than their bollywood prostitution business?

Ans) In Bombay, the same Bollywood film family monkey eggs are given every possible work in their genitals in their Bombay prostitution 'Industry' and they are the same people whose genitals and work is now flown around international film festivals as well after destroying and copying other peoples careers. I have no such life experience.

The same set of Bollywood film family monkey eggs are given everything from work,careers,clothes,travel,homes,film festivals,life experiences other than money in their genitals. I have no beginning to any such experience.

Q) Then, what are your aspirations of International film festivals?

Ans) Instead of Bollywood film family eggs who loot, copy, steal everybody's aspirations and struggle to market their own genitals,

 If anything, the people of Kashmir who create precious work despite war and struggle should have their work entered into International Film festivals as entries from Kashmir.

Q) Coming back to Christmas, you are reaching out to somebody else's faith by celebrating it?

Ans) Yes, not just reaching out but yelling and screaming to find comfort in other peoples faith for a very long time know. You can say, since childhood. I have been yelling, screaming to find knowledge about lives away from the conditioning i was brought up with and learn and know about other peoples faith because of all the confusion and misery imposed on me through the controlling systems and the advanced technology methods that have left me in misery since childhood and for 3 decades now. In the absence of a career and very bad humiliating events in my life, that reaching out has only increased. Especially how I have been sexually humiliated and looted of my struggle and how my face has been played with through remote technology and repeatedly destroyed.

I am happy to have read the Holy Quran and the Bible from cover to cover recently and I wish I had read them earlier.

Q) So, you are not interested in the Hindu faith

Ans) No. Very bad experiences in India. I rather be a reader of other peoples faith now, even if I am ignorant about them. And since no religious 'festival' celebration exists in my own life, I feel isolated and lonely and have started experiencing festivals of other religion.

Despite watching my mother celebrate Hindu festivals in her home and being with her in it, I feel very isolated and alienated when religious festivals are celebrated and marketed and people are seen enjoying the event with other people, especially Indian Hindu festivals because I have grown up in India but I have been kept alienated from all festivals in Delhi and Bombay. 

Q) Are you really kept this lonely and isolated even at age 37?

Ans) Yes, over the years i realised its a strategy used against me surviving in India, where I have been friendly and participative since childhood but I realised I was being strategically isolated not just singled out as an unwanted Muzzafarabadi Kashmiri as it turns out to be, where every one else in India lives their contemporary lives with their peers whereas I am isolated despite struggle and effort instead of living any 'normal' professional or personal life like everyone else in living in India. Now, all I have been given in 7 years within the same room at home is an internet connection and a remote access technology system that remotely access me.

Q) What about the making of this personal video footage?

Ans) There's no making. I remembered my childhood dream. I purchased a few Kashmiri papier mache decorations in Delhi. I took a flight from Delhi to Srinagar and then a cab till Gulmarg and I was happy to breathe the landscape. In Delhi since my life is within a room, indoors, i don't get much fresh air and open spaces so I needed to breathe in some green landscape and snow clad mountains, that i couldn't as a child growing up in Delhi. Also, just a gym and a pool cannot keep my body moving, my limbs really feel wasted without any life outdoors or travelling life.

Q) There were some bad news stories from Kashmir in 2016, the year of Burhan Wani, did that not scare you from travelling alone?

Ans) No. It's as it is a miserable life to be abandoned alone and travelling alone everywhere and when it has continued in my life for 20 years now with not much travel and mostly living indoors within a room, my lungs desperately need fresh air wherever it comes from. In fact, it was more of a reason to travelling to Kashmir, because it's obvious bad news is created to stop people from travelling freely to Kashmir.

Q) But why 2 years to share this?

Ans) It's not much of a release. I had only put up some photos earlier. This is just to say sometimes, short video clips can speak a little more than photos. As it is my life gets wasted, destroyed, looted,copied in India to destroy me, so what's 2 years anymore!

Q) So, why weren't you there Last Christmas as well?

Ans) I was surfing the web instead. Feeling really lonely and chat room surfing with festive strangers online on chatrooms. It was a nice feeling to know, i can just log on to a video chat room and there will always be someone there in some part of the world to talk to. But then I did go looking for winter and snow a few months after Christmas as well last year.

Q) What about all the music you have placed?

Ans) Actually I have consumed so little music in my life that i discover music as i begin to look for it. I just haven't lived that kind of a musical life. As you can tell, these are just a few clips that i put together last week, spending 2 days on it. And then I went looking for free music online and discovered most of this music last week. The ones I had heard already was Jingle Bell Rock and Silent Night, my favourite Christmas Carol which i loved listening to around Christmas time since Childhood. Other than that, Last Christmas is so popular but it is very sad and unfortunate that it's great musician George Michael left us with this beautiful song and other music in that Christmas in 2016.

Then, i discovered an energetic Christmas number by Mariah Carey called All I want for Christmas is You, only while making this last week and really related to it. Other than that, the music pieces are Christmas Oratorio by J.S Bach and I once again close with the music piece by Robert Schumann, Scenes from Childhood. So, I am really sharing all my musical discovery while putting together a few clips of personal footage.

Q) What else do you want to tell us about this making?

Ans) It's been made with a mini DV camera that i had got from the second hand market In Old Delhi and now that camera has completely broken down and this is one of the last things shot with it.

Q) You don't have much experience with cameras even now?

Ans) No. I have seen very few cameras in my life. I never had access to a camera growing up. I studied a single camera video subject way back in the stay in Melbourne where i handled a video camera on my own for the first time. After that with my first work experiences in India i had purchased a consumer handycam. All my videography is consumer videography. Nobody in India has given me any technical camera or technical film making training other than writing tips. They have just looted from my own struggle and set up careers for others.

Q) Anybody who cares for your face can see several faces reflected through your face, what kind of faces did they add to you face while you filmed yourself?

Ans) Yes that torment has been forced on my face through remote access technology since childhood without letting me know, of course. In this particular travel experience alone in Kashmir in 2016, the remote access technology system was busy forcing male Indian faces to transgender me by force every time I turned the camera on my face, even when I was wearing the only dress I owned, they kept forcing regional Indian male faeces on my face and a lot of obese Indian female and male faeces were forced on my face and never once was my own Muzzafarabadi Kashmiri face allowed to breathe in front on my own personal camera or otherwise. It was torment and with all the blessings of faith I Curse those people who abused me in this way through remote access technology. As it is nobody, especially in India has ever cared since my childhood for 3 decades to make any photographs or videos or any other records of me, they have just used some remote access technology to abuse me and visibly my face in some 'real life' free show of humiliation,mock,torment which I have been made to endure since childhood. So the little video footage of me that I have has been abused through remote access technology so that my own real self is not visible and with other faeces and male faeces and Indian faeces forced on me I can be humiliated,hated,mocked,laughed at,cursed,abused etc.

Lonely travel in Kashmir 2016, Making Lonely Christmas part 1 from smriti vij on Vimeo

Lonely travel in Kashmir 2016, Making Lonely Christmas part 2 from smriti vij on Vimeo

Lonely travel in Kashmir 2016, Making Lonely Christmas part 3 from smriti vij.

Lonely travel in Kashmir 2016, Making Lonely Christmas part 4 from smriti vij.