Hidden Identity of the 'coloured' self

Growing up in Delhi, India my face has been played with through a face-play technology since childhood and many times since childhood i recognised faces of colour being forced on my face, so i was experiencing what it feels like to be living in somebody elses face and skin, questioning it and trying to deal with it. Additionally, I was brought up in a Delhi home disconnected from Kashmir and was made to consume much black and white content of indian film so I have had a very curious relationship with colour, the presence and absence of it.

New Delhi memory

Bad memories of Delhi home and family - the 1990's

Of a nagging father who would express his rude loudness at his wife each morning and evening.
Of a struggling working mother who felt compensated by a government granted show home and needed to express herself through forced food or retro content on television.
Of older sisters who seemed to complement each other but had only humiliation for my birth and existence.

and the humiliating way in which each of them spoke

Of chairs, tables, bed, text books,radio, television,the newspaper and darkness


That's all India needed, was an image audience mind to be false labelled a schizophrenic brain, mind and life and innocent childhood for free, locked up in government areas, that it could spy into, whose dark, lonely, schizophrenic imaginary world for it's own creative and emotional survival could be used for free to steal, loot, thoughts, ideas, dreams, concepts, that would be given to someone else on a platter to shop from and set a money making shop with.

Then they needed to covet my face, so that they used their high technology and played with my face, taking away my own muzzafarabadi face and replacing it internally with technology by the faces they wanted forced on mine, while my own spirit fought with the internal control and internal play system i was unware about while i fought with the school text books to be a high mark achiever as per the demands specifically made for me by the parents.

India loots, steals, set shops, sells, destroys then discards.

INDIA, NOW LIVE WITH ALL THE REPLACEMENT SHOPS THAT YOU CREATED.
KEEP SELLING THEM AS FAMOUS NAMES AND FACES AND FILL YOUR POCKETS AND THEIRS TO THEIR CREDIT AND YOURS TILL YOU ARE SATISFIED AT THE THEFT OF LIFE.


Bad memories of the Delhi home - 2012-2016

Of what you people did to me here as i read your newspapers and saw your television again, whoever you are,

Pictures - CHILDHOOD AND YOUNG YEARS IN DELHI - USED, ACCESSED ,PLAYED WITH, RAPED

A VERY POWERFUL TECHNOLOGY ACCESSED MY FACE, BRAIN AND BODY  SINCE CHILDHOOD IN DELHI 1981 - 2000 AND FORCED STRANGE FACES AND FEATURES ON MY FACE SINCE CHILDHOOD AND  MY SKIN AND FACE TO DESTROY MY FACE FEATURES SKIN, AND STRANGE ARMS AND LEGS ONTO MY BODY AND DESTROYED MY CHILDHOOD,YOUTH,AND LIFE AND OCCUPIED 20 YEARS OF MY LIFETIME FROM 1981 - 2001 CONTINOUSLY FOR SCHOOL COLLEGE STAGE ACTIVITIES  ALONG WITH FORCED BOLLYWOOD STUDY AND STRUGGLE AT HOME AND FORCED DAIILY SCHOOL STUDY AND TESTS EXAMINATION MARKS SCIENCE AND COMPETITIVE STUDY EXAMS CONTINOUSLY FOR 20 YEARS FROM 1981 - 2001 WITH NO RESPONSE TO MY STUDY STRUGGLE 

THEY FORCE ANY FACE ON MY FACE AND ANY BRAIN AND BREATH AND BEHAVIOR INTO MY BRAIN WITH A TECHNOLOGY ACCESSING MY FACE,BRAIN,BODY SINCE CHILDHOOD AND NEVER TELL ME ABOUT IT.

BAD YEARS AND BAD MEMORIES IN INDIA. THE WORST YEARS OF MY LIFE - CHILDHOOD AND YOUTH STOLEN,ABUSED,WASTED IN INDIA.


YOUR DIDN'T TELL ME MY FACE,BRAIN,BODY IS REMOTELY ACCESSED BY A POWERFUL MACHINE SINCE BIRTH AND YOU DID WHATEVER YOU WANTED TO ME AND KEPT ME IN MISERY. 

YOU DIDN'T TELL ME, YOU ONLY FORCED FAT BROWN, FAT BLACK FATTENED FACES AND FEATURES ON MY FAIR SKIN FACE THROUGH MACHINES AND FAT BROWN ADULT MALE LEGS ON MY ARMS AND LEGS AND STOLE MY OWN FEMALE PERSONALITY AND HUMAN BEING THROUGH A MACHINE.

 YOU KEPT ME IN A STILL LOCKDOWN, WITHOUT TRAVELLING AND MOVEMENT, WITHOUT DIRECTION AND HEALTH CARE OTHER THAN MEDICINES AND KEPT FORCING STRANGE FACES AND FEATURES ON MY FACE AND BODY AND KEPT MAKING OTHERS MOCK, SHAME, HUMILIATE AND LAUGH AT ME AND REMOTE CONTROLLED AND VULGARLY RAPED ME FORCING YOUR MALE HANDPIECES ON MY HANDS, MALE MOUTHPIECES ON MY MOUTH AND FORCED YOUR MALE ARMS AND MALE LEGS ALL THE TIME ON FEMALE ARMS AND LEGS AND VULGARLY REMOTE CONTROLLED AND RAPED ME WITH MY OWN HANDS FROM 1981 - 2000 AT HOME WITH MY OLD PARENTS IN NEW DELHI AND FROM 2012 - 2024 IN MY NEW DELHI HOME SPACE CHANNEL WITH OLD PARENTS.

YOU KEPT USING ME WHILE I WAS STUDYING AND STRUGGLING IN MISERY WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO ME.

YOU STOLE MY CHILDHOOD, YOUTH, FEMALE BIRTH, BODY, PERSONALITY, LIFE.

AND SINCE I WAS FREED AT AGE 19 YOU DID WORSE TO MY FACE AND SKIN AND KILLED MY FACE AND SKIN. AND FINALLY REMOTE CONTROLLED BODY WERE SENT IN 2010 AT AGE 29 TO PHYSICALLY RAPE ME OVERNIGHT IN2010. AND FROM 2012 - 2024 YOUR MACHINES FORCED THEMSELVES INTO MY FACE BRAIN BODY AND VULGARLY RAPED MY FACE BRAIN BODY WITH RAPE NOISES DISTURBANCES DEROGATORY COMMENTS FORCED SLEEP RAPE FORCED DRUGGED SLEEP RAPE FORCED DREAM SLEEP RAPE FORCED NOISES DISTURBANCES DEROGATORY COMMENTS AND VULGAR SPEECHES FORCED INTO MY FACE AND SPEECH AND VULGARLY RAPED MY FACE CHIN NECK VOICE THROAT SPEECH WITH INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL INJURIES.

As 'LADY DIANA'

As, "LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD"

As 'KATYA' 

 

As, 'ERNIE"

                                   

 

THINGS FROM CHILDHOOD THAT STILL LIVE IN MY ROOM

REMOTE CONTROLLERS USED A FORCE AND FORCED THEMSLVES IN MY BRAN AND FORCED THEMSELVES IN MY FACE BRAIN BODY FROM 2012 - 2024 FORCIBLY ACCESSING RAPING INJURING TORTURING VULGARLY RAPING MY FACE BRAIN BODY PARTS WITH MACHINES AND FORCE FROM WITHIN  MY HOME SPACE CHANNEL IN NEW DELHI WITH OLD PARENTS FROM 2012 - 2024. THE REMOTE CONTROLLERS ACCESSING AND RAPING MY FACE BRAIN BODYSENT A FORCE INTO MY BRAIN AND TERRORISED ME TO TEAR UP ALL MY PHOTOS FROM WITHIN MY FAMILY HOME PHOTO ALBUM AND FORCIBLY ACCESSED RAPED AND TERRORISED ME IN MY BRAIN TO TEAR UP ALL  MY DAILY STAGE ACITIVTY CERTIFICATES AWARDED IN 12 YEARS OF ARMY PUBLIC SCGOL AND  3 YEARS OF LADY SHRIRAM COLLEGE CERTIFYING THE OCCUPATION OF MY TIME AND BODY BY ARMY PUBLIC SCHOOL STAGE ACTTVITIES AND LADY SHRIRAM COLLEGE NEW DELHI AND FORCED ME TO THROW AWAY ALL MY CERTIFICATES INTO DUSTBINS TO HIDE ALL THE VISIBLE EVIDENCE OF THE DAILY SCHOOL COLLEGE ACTIVITIES I WAS USED FOR FROM 1981 BIRTH - 2000 IN NEW DELHI AND TO FORCIBLY ACESS AND SELL MY FACE BRAIN BODY AS A MALE BIRTH BODY FOR THEIR FAME, FILM,TV ANUS URANUS MALE DRAMA ROLES AND MALE ADVERTSING BROTHEL BUSINESS FOR THEMSLVES FROM 2012 - 2024 REMOTE COJTROLLERS FROM NEW DELHI BOMBAY FORCIBLY ACCESSED MY FACE BRAIN BODY AND FORCED A MACHINE NOISE OF BOLLYWOOD AND POLITICIANS AND REMOTE CONTROLLERS ACCESSING MY FAMILY MEMBERS INTO MY BRAIN AND FACE BRAIN AND BODY AND USED THE FORCE MACHINES TO VULGARLY ACCESS MY FACE BRAIN AND BODY AND VULGARLY ACCESSED RAPED INJURED OVERSIZED MY FACE BRAIN AND BODY PARTS FORCING FORCED SLEEP RAPE FORCED DRUGGED SLEEP RAPE, FORCED DREAM RAPE FORCED NOISES DISTURBANCES SPOKEN INTO THE BRAIN,  FORCED MALE SPEECH IN STRANGE VOICES OCCUPPYING MY FEMAL MOUTH WITH MALE MOUTHPIECES TO SPEAK MALE MOUTHPIECES THROUGH MY FEMALE MOUTH AND VULGARLT RAPED MY MOUTH WITH THEIR MALE MOUTHPIECES AND INJURED MY FACE CHIN NECK VOICE THROAT SPEECH WITH INTERNAL INJURIES FROM 2012 - 2024. FORCED DEROGATORY COMMENTS SPOKEN INTO THE BRAIN. FORCED IMPERSONATOR VOICES SPOKEN INTO MY BRAIN AND INTO MY SPEECH AND VOICE CONTINOUSLY FROM 2012 - 2024 AND VULGARLY ACCESSED RAPED INJURED TORTURED MY FACE BRAIN AND BODY WITH RAPE NOISES DISTURBANCES WITH RAPE AND INTERNAL INJJURIES TO MY FACE CHIN NECK VOICE THROAT SPEECH AND KILLED MY WORK FROM HOME WRITING WORK AND WORK FROM HOME PLANETARIUM NEW DELHI SPACE WORK AND KILLED MY INTERNET VIDEO AND CINEMA STUDY AND KILLED MY DAILY SCHOOL AND COMEPETIVE STUDY BRAIN OF SCIENCEAND SPOKE THEIR VULGAR HINDI AND ENGLISH INTO MY BRAIN CONTINOUSLY FROM 2012 - 2020.