A MEANINGLESS LIFE IN INDIA
Indians used me since childhood since I was born here, I never wished any ill for anyone, not even an Indian, but over the years I realised that those Indians were wishing ill and bad things for me and that they were not my own people, I imagined myself to be growing up among my own people and was made to consume their Indian film and television and Indian education, but I realised despite my struggle since childhood they never considered me their own. They were wishing me ill, giving me hateful and jealous taunts, they didn't want me to live and prosper among them.
An Internal remote control technology system had access to my bare face,brain,body,vagina since my childhood, but I was never told about it, the army school that started using and exhausting me in their extraneous extra curricular activities, never really bothered to train or groom my face,brain,body according to their military standards, I only managed to travel a little during the early years of my childhood along with my parents and as a family and after that it was years of being forced to live indoors in a civil government area in Delhi.
I still never spoke ill against anyone, not even an Indian. I had no other people of my own, other than family members and thought they were also our people.
Over the years, I realised, that Indians had plotted to abuse my life in every way, so that i was available as a face,brain,body to abused by them and over the years wherever i struggled I only realised they were not making me part of their happy, flourishing Indian systems. At every stage, they tried to destroy whatever I succeeded in, internally they were abusing my face,brain,body and every year of struggle they tried new ways to cut,destroy wherever i struggled, but for their own children they arranged all opportunities and gave them lives and careers.
My face, since my childhood through a technology that can remotely access the face,brain,body and do whatever they want with it, they forced in their own Indian faces on my own face and never told me what they were doing to me, all my childhood was in misery, eventually they my skin through adulterated chemicals in adulterated milk and salt. spoiling my face and skin, will not 'beautify' their own Indian faces which they spend crores of money on fake film,television,make-up,studios,lighting etc on, but appreciating my own kashmiri face and skin among their own people would have made them beautiful, which they will never be now, they will remain ugly and hideous in my memory forever.
My human body which was being accessed remotely through an advanced technology system which can remotely access the brain,face,body and do whatever they want with it, 'played' with me, watching me slide my vagina onto wood pieces, wooden bedsides, wooden chairs and metal railings but never came to me to heal or stop or direct me. They must have watched me bare since childhood without bothering what happens to my own face,brain,body,vagina which they had access to and were 'playing with'.
Even if I wasn't brought up an item dancer prostitute with freely moving arms,legs and light waist, I still had a face,breasts and vagina to be played with.
Although the Indian army school was exploiting my childhood through extraneous on-stage parts where i was meant to show up in old hand-me down clothes of my own relatives or just show up every day for extraneous activities and on strange presence despite academic struggle along side which they possibly wanted to destroy, India never gave me any stage parts or stage experiences and nothing worth remembering. Their stage directors of bombay and delhi only exploited me on stage with humiliating parts with no direction to life and gave no memory worth remembering.
Since I was not given any camera access by my family and I still do not own or have access to any photo camera other than the phone, I do not have my own memories made by myself of a rotten filth Indian childhood either. I do not consume Indian direction any more.
I don't want any Indian army slut to use or represent me in any way, because I was never given their resources, travels or lifestyles or any military training. I was kept mostly in a civil area caged indoors and used in the Indian army school and their extraneous excess activities to use my time while I was caged in misery in isolation with a remote technology system accessing and abusing and forcing itself onto my face,skin,brain.breath.body for years together as I always struggled alone on the streets and public transport of Delhi and then in Bombay, all alone, abandoned and isolated as always still continuing a lonely academic struggle started since childhood.
I struggled to be a part of broadcasting, I struggled with radio speech training along with studying science. Indians eventually never made me part of their own radio broadcasting or television broadcasting resources or lifestyles. Whatever 'radio' experience I got since age 15 was never professionalised despite effort and struggle and time spent and like everything else I struggled for was labelled 'amateur' and hobbified into a hobby scam my life was directed towards. I was neither shown into their Indian commercial radio business where they sell junk and filth and earn money, nor was I ever shown their television business, of entertainment of journalism, where they sell lies and commercial businesses. For their own Indian children of all colours, shapes, sizes they opened all professional career doors in radio and television, entertainment and journalism and gave them education,technical training, salaries,travel, careers.
They never showed me any of their television or news journalism commercial business studios and erected their own Indian males and females, Indian sons and daughters into overpaid television and news journalism business jobs.
I do not consume any Indian radio or television any more.
My family had made me consume old Indian films since childhood and that cost me a lot of time in my childhood and even though I struggled to be one with Indians in their film, they directed to keep me caged within my own family with the lowest income and never considered me a part of their own selves. I forced my self into their film school where they didn't want me and consumed old films from other parts of the world and began writing. Although they did lead me to a low income desk job, they never made me part of any credited work.
India's system is designed to copy, so while they me from all work credit, they copied and stole everything I struggled to write alone,struggling alone in half public rooms and gave it their own Indian names and furthered their own businesses and media fame and travel.
Although I struggled on the streets of Bombay, in half rooms, in public transport systems on roads,buses,trains and eventually led into scheduled caste servant quarter apartments, they gave me no train or flight ticket to anywhere and showed me no part of India other than Pune, Bombay.
Although Indian 'film directors' showed off how they were paid monies to make film,after film and how they ran their businesses and frequent travel, Indians did not give me any technical training or access to any of their resources or cameras and obviously never directed to make me into a film director either.
They kept flying their own Indian daughters and sons on frequent, multiple foreign flights to foreign film festivals and film shoot holiday trips and gave me no direction or flight or travel to anywhere. The same set of paid Indian nangi kaali bandariyas (transgender monkeys of India) were flown year after year by India in western hand me down baby frocks and nangi saris to Foreign Film festivals in France and other paid holiday chutti parties by Indian fart holes.
Although Bombay city runs 24.7 powered entertainment shows, they never invited me or showed me any of their lives or shows.
All along the remote technology remote control system was still watching me alone on the streets of Bombay and my own face and playing with my brain and body. I had no other life to live.
Only because of the world wide web, I could reconnect with places and people, Although I was reading books and educating my own self, with access to google search and social media, I could keep educating my own curiosity and connect with people in Kashmir.
In India my face,brain,body were all made part of mock shows to be wasted,destroyed,humiliated and no beginning ever given to my professional or personal life, every part of my face and human body has been severely humiliated by Indians and sold internally as mock shows.
Indians never gave me any financial independence either, with the lowest paying ,5,000-20,000 jobs in places where otherwise lakhs and crores of money are thrust in and forced me to be dependent on my own parents.
Since 2012, the remote technology system began openly accessing my face,brain,body from within the room in Delhi where I came to live with my parents, They wanted it to be the worst experience for me, where they wanted to stop me further from becoming a part of their professional commercial Indian public systems and sold mock shows out of my face,brain,body, fed me more adulteration, did whatever they wanted to my face,brain,body through their remote access technology and continued to watch me alone on the streets of Delhi never coming to give me any professional life to live, or any other life here,, while stealing every part of my struggle in their Indian systems and giving work after work, career after career to their own Indian daughters of Indian hindu parents. They were forcing in any 'breath' they wanted into me to destroy my own speech and thought process instead of channelising me or allowing me to write anything further.
An infinite number of people are showing themselves as their own selves on social media platforms and online channels, other than paid prostitution work in film,television,advertising where they show their own face, but only my own face has been selectively massacred since childhood with a remote technology system penetrating my face since childhood and forcing some other faces on my face by force and never stopping for decades, despite destroying my face and skin altogether through adulterated chemicals in milk and salt. I have been given no rights to my own face, nor any life or work.
They have considered me and used me as a dead piece of human flesh since childhood and consider me to have no feeling of my own, they did whatever they wanted to do to me and raped my face since childhood, forced in faces of adults, adult women,adult relatives,fat brown obese indians, males,men,boys on my face since childhood while accessing all parts of my face,brain,body,vagina. While I studied and aspired and struggle they raped my face,brain,body and enjoyed accessing and using me. There is no acknowledgment in any public way what they have done to me since childhood.
Indians take the worst of their people and give them the best of the resources accessible to them but despite abusing me since childhood since my availability to them, they never made me part of their credited work or any of their technical resources.
Although the Indian school and college did try to use and exhaust me, what India really did was to waste my face,brain,body,struggle since childhood while accessing and using all of me as free resource. Childhood should be free and youth should be made of struggle which gets paid, instead India caged me since childhood and exploited me and never paid me anything as I just kept struggling year after year, while they were copying,wasting and destroying me and giving professional opportunities to their own Indian children.
India wasted me as a human resource available to them.
It isn't me who didn't want to be one with Indians, I was born and brought up here, I considered all people good. I lived here, I struggled with Indian faces forced on my face since childhood, I studied in their education system sacrificing my own pleasures despite being exploited by their school and college, I struggled within their public spaces, public half rooms and public transport, all alone, it is Indians who didn't want me among them, it is Indian's who got me caged back into the same family I am born in, it is Indians who willed to destroy my face,personality,speech,character in every way so that they could openly copy and steal every part of my struggle and use it as free source for their Indian daughters and Indian sons and even foreigners without ever giving me my own rights.
They have watched every year of my life wasted and destroyed, with no professional or personal beginning to my life, that's how they, copy and steal and that's how they earn crores of stolen money, never paying me anything, never making me a part of their lives in India.
It isn't just me whose lifetime of struggle since childhood with every part of my face,brain,body,effort,study, accessed,used,abused, has been unpaid,without any professional work credit, but the returns that my struggle is to give to my parents and my people haven't been given, so it isn't just me whose years of life have been wasted,destroyed and the earnings that were meant to reach me have been stolen.
A meaningless academic struggle has been thrust upon me as a student in India while I was being used by the Indian army school for their extraneous activities and abused through remote technology of my own face,brain,body,breath. I have struggled to attend and succeed in every 'school' unit test, science in high school, medical entrance examinations, Indian law entrance examinations, journalism in Delhi university, CAT management entrance examinations, digital,new media,video study in one year in Melbourne arranged by Delhi University, Film school study at the Film and TV institute of India and then consistent self study with NO break-in into the Indian career market other than low paying desk jobs while their system kept abusing my face especially and then destroyed my face and skin altogether through adulterated chemicals.
I do not consume Indians any more. Now despite a lifetime used up in India and a remote technology system that still tries to force in whatever they want into my brain, My senses are now free from consuming India, I do not have to consume any more Indian education, Indian television, Indian film, Indian news, Indian content, Indian music or Indian politics for which they wanted to use me as a consumer.
It has been a meaningless life in India with my own face and skin destroyed by force and through remote access technology, my body violated and mocked, with no creative work, no work credit, no financial independence, no marriage, no childbirth or motherhood, with no travel journeys and work experience,with no progressive technical training and with a remote technology system accessing and modifying my face,brain,body and thrusting their 'dreams' and breath into my brain with no direction whatsoever.
Whatever is good in me they wanted to strategically and openly destroy, from the external physical attributes of the face,skin,even hair,good speech, they wanted to mislead and destroy all of it, to a consistent academic struggle, never channelised to be creative or professional.
While they have watched me on their streets and struggle for a beginning to any work credit since childhood, they did not apply my face,brain,body which has been violated in struggle since childhood in any creative way or professional use, instead they kept watching me struggle within my own self and wanted me to implode within my own self.
Indians used me since childhood since I was born here, I never wished any ill for anyone, not even an Indian, but over the years I realised that those Indians were wishing ill and bad things for me and that they were not my own people, I imagined myself to be growing up among my own people and was made to consume their Indian film and television and Indian education, but I realised despite my struggle since childhood they never considered me their own. They were wishing me ill, giving me hateful and jealous taunts, they didn't want me to live and prosper among them.
An Internal remote control technology system had access to my bare face,brain,body,vagina since my childhood, but I was never told about it, the army school that started using and exhausting me in their extraneous extra curricular activities, never really bothered to train or groom my face,brain,body according to their military standards, I only managed to travel a little during the early years of my childhood along with my parents and as a family and after that it was years of being forced to live indoors in a civil government area in Delhi.
I still never spoke ill against anyone, not even an Indian. I had no other people of my own, other than family members and thought they were also our people.
Over the years, I realised, that Indians had plotted to abuse my life in every way, so that i was available as a face,brain,body to abused by them and over the years wherever i struggled I only realised they were not making me part of their happy, flourishing Indian systems. At every stage, they tried to destroy whatever I succeeded in, internally they were abusing my face,brain,body and every year of struggle they tried new ways to cut,destroy wherever i struggled, but for their own children they arranged all opportunities and gave them lives and careers.
My face, since my childhood through a technology that can remotely access the face,brain,body and do whatever they want with it, they forced in their own Indian faces on my own face and never told me what they were doing to me, all my childhood was in misery, eventually they my skin through adulterated chemicals in adulterated milk and salt. spoiling my face and skin, will not 'beautify' their own Indian faces which they spend crores of money on fake film,television,make-up,studios,lighting etc on, but appreciating my own kashmiri face and skin among their own people would have made them beautiful, which they will never be now, they will remain ugly and hideous in my memory forever.
My human body which was being accessed remotely through an advanced technology system which can remotely access the brain,face,body and do whatever they want with it, 'played' with me, watching me slide my vagina onto wood pieces, wooden bedsides, wooden chairs and metal railings but never came to me to heal or stop or direct me. They must have watched me bare since childhood without bothering what happens to my own face,brain,body,vagina which they had access to and were 'playing with'.
Even if I wasn't brought up an item dancer prostitute with freely moving arms,legs and light waist, I still had a face,breasts and vagina to be played with.
Although the Indian army school was exploiting my childhood through extraneous on-stage parts where i was meant to show up in old hand-me down clothes of my own relatives or just show up every day for extraneous activities and on strange presence despite academic struggle along side which they possibly wanted to destroy, India never gave me any stage parts or stage experiences and nothing worth remembering. Their stage directors of bombay and delhi only exploited me on stage with humiliating parts with no direction to life and gave no memory worth remembering.
Since I was not given any camera access by my family and I still do not own or have access to any photo camera other than the phone, I do not have my own memories made by myself of a rotten filth Indian childhood either. I do not consume Indian direction any more.
I don't want any Indian army slut to use or represent me in any way, because I was never given their resources, travels or lifestyles or any military training. I was kept mostly in a civil area caged indoors and used in the Indian army school and their extraneous excess activities to use my time while I was caged in misery in isolation with a remote technology system accessing and abusing and forcing itself onto my face,skin,brain.breath.body for years together as I always struggled alone on the streets and public transport of Delhi and then in Bombay, all alone, abandoned and isolated as always still continuing a lonely academic struggle started since childhood.
I struggled to be a part of broadcasting, I struggled with radio speech training along with studying science. Indians eventually never made me part of their own radio broadcasting or television broadcasting resources or lifestyles. Whatever 'radio' experience I got since age 15 was never professionalised despite effort and struggle and time spent and like everything else I struggled for was labelled 'amateur' and hobbified into a hobby scam my life was directed towards. I was neither shown into their Indian commercial radio business where they sell junk and filth and earn money, nor was I ever shown their television business, of entertainment of journalism, where they sell lies and commercial businesses. For their own Indian children of all colours, shapes, sizes they opened all professional career doors in radio and television, entertainment and journalism and gave them education,technical training, salaries,travel, careers.
They never showed me any of their television or news journalism commercial business studios and erected their own Indian males and females, Indian sons and daughters into overpaid television and news journalism business jobs.
I do not consume any Indian radio or television any more.
My family had made me consume old Indian films since childhood and that cost me a lot of time in my childhood and even though I struggled to be one with Indians in their film, they directed to keep me caged within my own family with the lowest income and never considered me a part of their own selves. I forced my self into their film school where they didn't want me and consumed old films from other parts of the world and began writing. Although they did lead me to a low income desk job, they never made me part of any credited work.
India's system is designed to copy, so while they me from all work credit, they copied and stole everything I struggled to write alone,struggling alone in half public rooms and gave it their own Indian names and furthered their own businesses and media fame and travel.
Although I struggled on the streets of Bombay, in half rooms, in public transport systems on roads,buses,trains and eventually led into scheduled caste servant quarter apartments, they gave me no train or flight ticket to anywhere and showed me no part of India other than Pune, Bombay.
Although Indian 'film directors' showed off how they were paid monies to make film,after film and how they ran their businesses and frequent travel, Indians did not give me any technical training or access to any of their resources or cameras and obviously never directed to make me into a film director either.
They kept flying their own Indian daughters and sons on frequent, multiple foreign flights to foreign film festivals and film shoot holiday trips and gave me no direction or flight or travel to anywhere. The same set of paid Indian nangi kaali bandariyas (transgender monkeys of India) were flown year after year by India in western hand me down baby frocks and nangi saris to Foreign Film festivals in France and other paid holiday chutti parties by Indian fart holes.
Although Bombay city runs 24.7 powered entertainment shows, they never invited me or showed me any of their lives or shows.
All along the remote technology remote control system was still watching me alone on the streets of Bombay and my own face and playing with my brain and body. I had no other life to live.
Only because of the world wide web, I could reconnect with places and people, Although I was reading books and educating my own self, with access to google search and social media, I could keep educating my own curiosity and connect with people in Kashmir.
In India my face,brain,body were all made part of mock shows to be wasted,destroyed,humiliated and no beginning ever given to my professional or personal life, every part of my face and human body has been severely humiliated by Indians and sold internally as mock shows.
Indians never gave me any financial independence either, with the lowest paying ,5,000-20,000 jobs in places where otherwise lakhs and crores of money are thrust in and forced me to be dependent on my own parents.
Since 2012, the remote technology system began openly accessing my face,brain,body from within the room in Delhi where I came to live with my parents, They wanted it to be the worst experience for me, where they wanted to stop me further from becoming a part of their professional commercial Indian public systems and sold mock shows out of my face,brain,body, fed me more adulteration, did whatever they wanted to my face,brain,body through their remote access technology and continued to watch me alone on the streets of Delhi never coming to give me any professional life to live, or any other life here,, while stealing every part of my struggle in their Indian systems and giving work after work, career after career to their own Indian daughters of Indian hindu parents. They were forcing in any 'breath' they wanted into me to destroy my own speech and thought process instead of channelising me or allowing me to write anything further.
For 7 years within this room I am typing from, they wasted my life further to me from any professional public space career or any other life to live. Despite my face and skin raped and body violated they continued to abuse my face,brain,body,breath for 7 years caged in a bed within this room and occassionally were forced to return my own face back to me. They could have given me any life,career,travel at least for these 7 years, they could have finally made me into something, made me into a working, paid ,creative professional based on my struggle or set me free to live any personal life experiences which still dont even exist in my life. But they turned out to be enemies as well who wanted to waste,exploit,destroy me further.
An infinite number of people are showing themselves as their own selves on social media platforms and online channels, other than paid prostitution work in film,television,advertising where they show their own face, but only my own face has been selectively massacred since childhood with a remote technology system penetrating my face since childhood and forcing some other faces on my face by force and never stopping for decades, despite destroying my face and skin altogether through adulterated chemicals in milk and salt. I have been given no rights to my own face, nor any life or work.
They have considered me and used me as a dead piece of human flesh since childhood and consider me to have no feeling of my own, they did whatever they wanted to do to me and raped my face since childhood, forced in faces of adults, adult women,adult relatives,fat brown obese indians, males,men,boys on my face since childhood while accessing all parts of my face,brain,body,vagina. While I studied and aspired and struggle they raped my face,brain,body and enjoyed accessing and using me. There is no acknowledgment in any public way what they have done to me since childhood.
Indians take the worst of their people and give them the best of the resources accessible to them but despite abusing me since childhood since my availability to them, they never made me part of their credited work or any of their technical resources.
Although the Indian school and college did try to use and exhaust me, what India really did was to waste my face,brain,body,struggle since childhood while accessing and using all of me as free resource. Childhood should be free and youth should be made of struggle which gets paid, instead India caged me since childhood and exploited me and never paid me anything as I just kept struggling year after year, while they were copying,wasting and destroying me and giving professional opportunities to their own Indian children.
India wasted me as a human resource available to them.
It isn't me who didn't want to be one with Indians, I was born and brought up here, I considered all people good. I lived here, I struggled with Indian faces forced on my face since childhood, I studied in their education system sacrificing my own pleasures despite being exploited by their school and college, I struggled within their public spaces, public half rooms and public transport, all alone, it is Indians who didn't want me among them, it is Indian's who got me caged back into the same family I am born in, it is Indians who willed to destroy my face,personality,speech,character in every way so that they could openly copy and steal every part of my struggle and use it as free source for their Indian daughters and Indian sons and even foreigners without ever giving me my own rights.
They have watched every year of my life wasted and destroyed, with no professional or personal beginning to my life, that's how they, copy and steal and that's how they earn crores of stolen money, never paying me anything, never making me a part of their lives in India.
It isn't just me whose lifetime of struggle since childhood with every part of my face,brain,body,effort,study, accessed,used,abused, has been unpaid,without any professional work credit, but the returns that my struggle is to give to my parents and my people haven't been given, so it isn't just me whose years of life have been wasted,destroyed and the earnings that were meant to reach me have been stolen.
A meaningless academic struggle has been thrust upon me as a student in India while I was being used by the Indian army school for their extraneous activities and abused through remote technology of my own face,brain,body,breath. I have struggled to attend and succeed in every 'school' unit test, science in high school, medical entrance examinations, Indian law entrance examinations, journalism in Delhi university, CAT management entrance examinations, digital,new media,video study in one year in Melbourne arranged by Delhi University, Film school study at the Film and TV institute of India and then consistent self study with NO break-in into the Indian career market other than low paying desk jobs while their system kept abusing my face especially and then destroyed my face and skin altogether through adulterated chemicals.
I do not consume Indians any more. Now despite a lifetime used up in India and a remote technology system that still tries to force in whatever they want into my brain, My senses are now free from consuming India, I do not have to consume any more Indian education, Indian television, Indian film, Indian news, Indian content, Indian music or Indian politics for which they wanted to use me as a consumer.
It has been a meaningless life in India with my own face and skin destroyed by force and through remote access technology, my body violated and mocked, with no creative work, no work credit, no financial independence, no marriage, no childbirth or motherhood, with no travel journeys and work experience,with no progressive technical training and with a remote technology system accessing and modifying my face,brain,body and thrusting their 'dreams' and breath into my brain with no direction whatsoever.
Whatever is good in me they wanted to strategically and openly destroy, from the external physical attributes of the face,skin,even hair,good speech, they wanted to mislead and destroy all of it, to a consistent academic struggle, never channelised to be creative or professional.
While they have watched me on their streets and struggle for a beginning to any work credit since childhood, they did not apply my face,brain,body which has been violated in struggle since childhood in any creative way or professional use, instead they kept watching me struggle within my own self and wanted me to implode within my own self.
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